Tagged with " Personal"
Apr 18, 2008 - Uncategorized    No Comments

Friendless in Karachi

I have had most amazing friends at every stage of my life and count myself extremely lucky for finding one gem of a friend after another. I was recently sent an email by someone who wanted to spread some word around people in Karachi and asked me to forward it to my friends here. When I started clicking on the people on my contact list, I realised that just about all of my friends live abroad, there were only four people in Karachi who I knew would participate in that, which got me thinking that I have hardly any friends left in this city. I am lonely in this concrete jungle.

My situation worsened last week when I learned that two of my friends (you know who you are) are leaving the city by the sea for Islamabad and Toronto respectively. Honestly, I have started hating Toronto; for me, it has become a friend sucking back hole; most of my friends have relocated to the big TO.

Now I am friendless (well, almost) in Karachi and I don’t know what to do about it. I am not 17 any more and making new friends at my age is not the easiest thing in the world and I don’t want a whole new set of people around me with no binding memories.

What do I do? Move to Canada and shovel snow for six months like a lot of good Pakistanis or stay in the city by the sea, commuting on Shahrah-e-Faisal and finding new ways of beating the stress of living in Karachi.

Apr 14, 2008 - Personal    6 Comments

Thank you mom, for everything

April 13 is my mother’s birthday.
What I am trying to say is had she been alive, it would have been her birthday. I don’t recall wishing her much when she was alive (my only excuse is that I was a self absorbed kid when she passed away), but I never missed her birthdays since she’s been gone; I guess we only realize how important a person is after s/he is gone. I now think about all things I want to say to Ammi but she is no more.
Mothers are precious and most people love their moms a lot, but at times we take their presence, their commitment, their affection and their kindness for granted. Most of the time, we feel that a mother would always stand like pillar of strength no matter what she is up against. We tell them about our problems, frustrations and miseries without thinking – even for a single minute – that they could be facing problems of their own.
It’s been a very long time since my mother passed away, but I still miss her. I miss her when I come home, I miss her when I want to share a gossip and she is not there. I miss her when I make decisions and want a sounding board. I terribly missed her when I wanted to choose a college major and wanted to seek her advice because no one knew me as well as she did. I missed her when I had a fight with one of my teachers and wanted unconditional understanding only a mother is capable of. I missed her the day I graduated and wanted to share the joy with someone who would be just as ecstatic with my achievement as I was. I missed her the day I got my first salary because I know she would have been so so proud of me. I badly wanted to take her out, buy her things and indulge her little wishes but she was not around. I  miss her every time I want to share my joys and frustrations, but she is no more.
I miss her smile, her compassion and her understanding. I am lucky that I had some time with her but I now regret that I had always taken that time with her for granted. I thought Ammi would ALWAYS be around. I regret that I had the opportunity but never really thanked her.
I want to thank my mother for being a great mom, so here it is. Thank you Ammi for your empathy and compassion, for your guidance, for the values that you instilled in me, for your absolute and unreserved love and for being there when I needed you most. Thank you for enriching my life. Thank you mom, for everything.
Apr 1, 2008 - Uncategorized    No Comments

Blogging my life away

I just noticed, I wrote 31 blog entries in the last month, that’s an average of one entry a day and that’s bad – real bad. You see, my blog is my little corner of cyber space where I can rant to my heart’s desire. The more pissed/frustrated/angry I am at things, the more I rant and write. Hence, the numbers of entries are proportional to my mental well being.

One a more serious note, I need to get a life.

I was sent an email which said that department of immigration, Canada actually have a professional categories for strippers who wants to migrate to Canada to work as stripper. The only exception they make is that you need to submit, among other more regular stuff, a nude photo so that the immigration officials would know that you are not a 300 pound 5 feet tall little ball and will find work as a stripper in Canada. Wow!

No, it is not an April’s fool joke. You can go and check it at the immigration profession code website.

Mar 28, 2008 - Uncategorized    1 Comment

Trivia travails

I have been fascinated with trivia and general facts since I was a little girl. I always wanted to know things like the exact duration of a blink, which by the way, approximately lasts 0.3 seconds. I would try to read volumes of encyclopedia, much to my mother chagrin, who wanted me to spend every waking moment with my text books. My mother actually thought that cramming my brain with useless (in her opinion) information would not leave much room for trigonometry theorems and English literature. What she did not know that knowing that a chameleon’s tongue is twice as long as its body or that milk of a hippopotamus is bright pink would make it so much easier for me to understand the Pythagoras theorems.

some of the trivia facts that always draw a wide eyed response are:

The space between your eye brows is called glabellas.

A fetus acquire finger prints at the age of three months.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

In Japan, 20% of all publications sold are comics.

57% of British school kids think that Germany is the most boring country in Europe ( i know Germans are not fascinated by this one).

Issac Newton invented the cat flap.

and my personal favourite is …

If you keep your eyes open by force during a sneeze, they may pop out. It is body’s defence mechanism that we always close our eyes shut while sneezing.

Mar 28, 2008 - Society, urban    No Comments

Yuppie suits, here I come

I have promised that I will not write about my work which is ultra boring and at times, bring me to tears. Believe me, writing emails to accountants “educating them about the effectiveness of regular IT maintenance” can bring tears to the most hardened soul, but I soldier on.

What gets my goat more than the accountants’ never ending questions is the super human confidence of the consultants and the way they throw acronyms. I am willing to bet half my salary that they use them so much that they can no longer differentiate the acronyms of their own company, the vendors’ and the clients. After every long and grueling meeting with consultants’ I vow to become a consultant myself. After all, when you can’t beat them, you might as well join them and make a decent living. When I shared this idea with a friend, she discouraged me and said that I can never be a good consultant. The reasons she cited are listed below.

  • I actually care about implementation of the policies.

  • I hate writing long reports.

  • I do not call hopping in the plane and going to another city ‘process flow’.

  • I do not use words like diagnostic period, successful value creation and synergy.

  • Being a cynic and pessimist, I can never utter the phrase win-win, even if someone is pointing a gun at me.

  • I never use bullet points.

Oops, I just used the bullet points. There might be some hope for me. Yuppie suits, corporate speak and fuel guzzling vehicles, here I come.

Mar 28, 2008 - Uncategorized    1 Comment

Through the roof, under ground

Summaiyya sent me this killer song from an utterly fabulous Ukrainian gypsy punk band Gogol Bordello and I am hooked.

This morning on my way to work, I plugged my ipod to car stereo and started singing along – at the top of my lungs. At the Clifton bridge signal opposite ABN-AMRO, a banker dude winked at me( I am assuming he was a banker because he was in a suit and was walking towards the bank, but I could be wrong), at the teen talwar signal an aunty gave me a stink eye which said ‘tauba tauba, kya zamana a gaya hai, larkiyan sarak pe subah subah gana ga raheen hain’ and no, before you say it that it could be just her face, let me tell you that it WAS the stink eye, but I paid no heed and kept on singing along. I personally think that singing is about as natural as breathing and if anyone has a problem with that, well that’s their problem.

The song goes like this …

When there is trap set up for you in every corner of this town

Hey sailor, the only way to go, is underground

When there is a trap set up for you in every corner of your room

Hey sailor, the only way to go, is through roof.

Ooooohhhhh oooohhhhhh, through the roof, under ground

Ooooohhhhh oooohhhhhh, through the roof, under ground

Oh Sumi, I have hit the roof, with the high note.

Mar 27, 2008 - Uncategorized    No Comments

Growing older

I have noticed that as I grow older my skin is becoming more sensitive and it cannot take the sun like it used to when i was a kid. Its either this or maybe all that they say about ozone layer disappearing is true after all….

Mar 27, 2008 - Uncategorized    No Comments

sucking-at-maths contest

A friend, who is preparing for GRE, and I were quibbling who suck at mathematics most. I thought I am the undisputed suck-at-maths queen while he thought that no matter how much he practices GRE mathematics, he just won’t be able to pass muster so he should be crowned king of all things hating mathematics.

In order to win the argument, I said that I must have been a suicidal wreck to read economics in bachelors because of my obvious lack of mathematical genius and how I used to get mathematics related nightmares. He then asked what are the mathematics related nightmares like. Honestly, I have never had nightmares where a maths monster attacked me and tore my limbs apart. The worst Maths related inconvenience I have had was an upset tummy and insomnia before every maths exam since grade 7. But it got me thinking that if there were a maths monster how would he look like? Would he have a nose that looks like derivation sign or a square root? Would he have a name that rhymes with trigonometry or calculus? I don’t have the imagination to create a maths monster so the crown goes to my friend.

Haris, you win. You are the king of all mathematics fearing beings.

Mar 26, 2008 - Uncategorized    No Comments

Killing me softly

I have had what you call a chick-flick week.
Not only did I watch three Jane Austen films (Emma, Northanger Abbey and Persuasion) in a row (ok, I am demented, I get it), I also watched Jane Austen Book Club, a book about five Californian women and a man who form a book club to discuss the works of the celebrated writer but also had the ulterior motive of improving their love lives after taking cue from Ms. Austen.

But the chick flick which I am certain would be soon made into a Bollywood musical is not any of the above mentioned films. The film that is sure to see a hindi remake is Katherine Heigl, James Marsden starrer 27 Dresses. Heigl plays a selfless woman who helps out her girl friends by being their bridesmaid – a horrendous 27 times. In addition she plays adoring PA to her hotshot boss who’s blissfully oblivious to his employee’s infatuation. Her beautiful sister comes along and gets engaged to the boss and then enters Marsden, a cynical wedding reporter (is that an oxymoron or is that an oxymoron?) who wanted to do a feature on a woman who is always, always, always the bridesmaid but ends up falling for our heroine and they all live happily ever after.

It has become a standard practice of late that every successful romantic comedy (or the not so successful romcoms) soon sees its Hindi version. The most recent was Partner which was very loud, crass, yet yawn inducing copy of Will Smith’s Hitch. So cheeky have they become that they call lifting every scene frame for frame, mere inspiration! Some are so shameless that they even copy the name of the film (Mere Yaar Ki Shadi Hai was a bad remake of My Best Friend’s wedding).
So be ready to see Rani Mukerji or some other actress like her (can’t have a glamazon in that role) reprising the role of Hiegl as the self sacrificing shareef heroine silently in love with her smooth and suave boss (probably John Abraham – seriously, cant think of anyone else who fits the bill of good looking yet vacant and single dimensional). Enters the glamorous young sister (could be any of the former models or pageant winners) who makes the suave boss fall for her. Now, who is going to save our heroine from the cold clutches of impending spinsterhood; a cheeky but extremely good looking Saif Ali Khan who wins her heart and make her realise that there is more to men than just being ridiculously rich and good looking; they have to be smart and witty along with being ridiculously good looking. They hold hands and walk into the sunset … or whatever.
Shit, I actually wrote the plot of a bollywood masala musical. I seriously need to get a life and do something other than watching escapist cinema. It is killing me softly; before I know it, I would be dead, at least intellectually.
Any suggestions people???
Mar 24, 2008 - Uncategorized    No Comments

Facebook is mean

Facebook is mean, yes, I mean it. Every other day, I get an email saying something like this: 2 per cent of my friends think I am smart and 90 per cent think I am the best potential mother. I mean what the &(*$%)^$#@!?

Honestly, if I were taking it critically, I would have fought with all my friends (I think I am damn smart and do take my smartness and smart ass attitude very seriously) by now.

100 percent of my friends (actually its just three who have voted for me) think that I am most likely to win in a fight but none think I have a better profile picture!

An overwhelming 100 percent think I am more confident and well-mannered (thank you all 11 of you) but only 2.5 percent think I am hot.

This is the last email I got from Facebook.

Social News for March 24, 2008

Here is what your friends think about…

… your strengths:

best companion on a desert island
Funnier

… your weaknesses:

person with the best profile picture
smartest

Like I said, facebook is mean.

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