Tagged with " media"
Mar 19, 2008 - Uncategorized    No Comments

Ridiculously sensational

Derek Zoolander once said, “There is more to life than being really ridiculously good looking” – or is there? (Those who don’t know who Derek Zoolander is, need to get acquainted with him pronto, he is the most ridiculously good looking man with a killer pout).

The Jang group should be ashamed to call it a news item. This is pure sensationalism and they should be ashamed. And this is giving too much importance to a 19 years old kid. It makes me wonder if there is more to journalism in Pakistan than being ridiculously sensational and moronic.

Mar 10, 2008 - Uncategorized    2 Comments

Another one bites the dust

Another women’s day had passed. I was invited to four different events that day, but I chose the one organized by Goethe Institut and Oxford University Press. It was the launch of a book that was the effort of young Pakistani writers. A year ago, young writers’ competition was launched, 600 stories were submitted and only twelve were chosen to be part of the book titled, “Voices & Visions.”

The reason I chose this event was simple; I wanted to avoid the rhetoric that abounds on International Women’s Day. I thought there would be young people talking about literature and philosophy. Sadly, it did not turn out to be like that. There were customary speeches, a few reading by young writers (quite unimpressive, I am afraid) and then came the chief guest Justice (r) Nasira Iqbal and ruined it all.

Before I go any further, let me introduce her. Justice Iqbal is wife of Justice Javed Iqbal and daughter-in-law of Dr. Muhammed Iqbal a.ka. Allama Iqbal. Before this moot, I thought very highly of her, not only for being a woman judge in Punjab High Court but also for continuing education till late in life. She finished off her LLM in her fifties from HarvardLawSchool (Studying in HarvardLawSchool is tough even when one is in their twenties and thirties, but it is a lot more arduous for a woman in her fifties). On March 8th event, she did not talk about either women’s movement (of lack thereof) in Pakistan or the young writers or writing in general. She hijacked the forum and went on and on about the restoration of judiciary, Justice Iftekhar and lawyers movement. In addition, she blithely assumed that every person present is part of the lawyers movement and asked us all to wear a black armband.

Honestly, she lost me after the first 4 sentences and my friend Zeenia and I started talking about how people do not accord the basic courtesy to the spirit of event and hijack it, even Harvard grad retired judges. When she was unable to do justice to her role as the chief guest, what do we expect from her and the movement that is being run by people like her? In my opinion, lawyers too would turn into a ‘bull in the china shop’ like Pakistani media already has. Pakistani media believes that it is above and beyond law and regulation and anything against them is against the freedom of speech. Lawyers would follow suit and don’t even get me started on parliamentarians. Between Zardari and Nawaz Shariff, it has already been decided that no parliamentarians would be tried for corruption. That would leave people like us who have no recourse but stay put, leave the country or die in silence.

I only wished that someone switched her mike off, but was reminded by my friend that it happen only in the assembly and that too when members from opposition speak. I suffered the indignity of her speech in silence (rolling eyes does not count) and left.

Mar 7, 2008 - Society    3 Comments

Integrity be damned

Watching Geo is painful, seriously.

Try and watch an episode of Nadia Khan Show and you will know how painful it is. All she can talk (read gossip) about is whether Ashwariya Rai is pregnant or if Salman Khan has roughed up his girl friend – yet again, or the latest affair between any two starlets. The other day, I saw a news clip showing some Mumbai wedding attended by the likes of Rani Mukherji, Amir Khan and some other lesser bollywood personalities (They might not be that lesser but I don’t know their names).

This is not all, the other day after the bomb blast in Darra Adam Khel, the newscaster asked the reporter if there are any more deaths and his exact words were, “apkay khiyal main aur kitnee amwaat hue hain?” when the reporter said they have just taken 20 people inside the hospital, the newscaster said, “yani ke mazeed 20 amwat ka khadsha hai.” (that 20 more people may die.)

Pakistani news media is all about sensationalism and news creation these days. Gone are they days when news was properly screened and people would focus on reporting the events as they unfold rather than looking for sensational little bits and creating news for increased viewer ship. Now, its all about ratings and getting multinational sponsorship for the news, just rake in the moolah, authenticity and integrity be damned

Feb 8, 2008 - Shoaib Malik    5 Comments

A marriage that never happened, or did it?

Will it ever end? Apparently the saga of Shoaib Malik’s marriage/no marriage continues, at least on Nadia Khan Show. While watching Ms. Nadia Khan asking 1001 questions to Shoaib Malik – the poor guy looked as comfortable as a man does before facing the gallows – various facets of the saga came up. Although not all of us (watched the program with colleagues) were convinced by Shoaib’s performance, everyone unanimously agreed that there is something seriously fishy to it.

Just a few minutes ago, I received this email which states CNN IBN claiming that a close friend of the Siddiqui family has claimed that Shoaib did tie the knot with Ayesha, but he was duped into doing so.

Talking to CNN-IBN, Kaleem claimed that when Ayesha met Shoaib online, she had shown him photographs of not herself, but her elder sister Nagma. Nagma even met the cricketer in Dubai pretending to be Ayesha.

Shoaib met the real Ayesha for the first time at a party thrown for the Pakistani cricket team at her home in Hyderabad.

According to Kaleem, far from being bowled over, Shoaib Malik was stumped at being cheated for so many years when he finally met Ayesha and he chose to end the relationship on a harmonious note. Little did he know that three years later, Ayesha would undergo a liposuction and seek a divorce.

Now this got me thinking, who is writing the script of it all? This is more filmi than most films these days. Yes, there were films like this (Truth about cats and dogs where Uma Thurman impersonated Janeane Garofalo for the affections of Ben Chaplin) but this one involves an international sports star – the captain of the bloody cricket team for god’s sake – and a cross border romance gone sore.

Knowing Mahesh Bhatt’s proclivity to all things Pakistani, I predict that he soon will be making a film on this story where he will first ask Shoaib Malik to play himself, Malik obviously cannot act to save his life so he would offer it to the other Shoaib (Shoiab Akhtar) but he is now too fat to play any thing other than heroine ka baap. He would eventually cast his ghar ka bacha Emran Hashmi to play Shoaib Malik. No actress is fat enough to play Ayesha, so whoever would agree to don the fat suit would play her. As for the femme fatale who stole Shoaib’s heart in dubai (the elder sister Nagma masquerading as Ayesha), I say Mahesh Bhatt should ask Katrina Kaif to play that role (She is the current hottie for desi men of all ages). There goes the recipe of a bollywood pot boiler.

On a side note, this story proves three things. Pakistani studs rule, if not at home, then in India. Shoba De recently called Zardari ‘the most eligible bachelor’ (Yuck) Imran Khan ruled the roost in his time as the cricketing stud for the whole of South Asia and a scrawny idiot like Atif Aslam is much loved by Indian teenaged girls . Secondly, whosoever performed liposuction on Ayesha is not good at his/her job (she still looks like she needs to shed a stone or two or may be three). Last but not the least, the name Shoaib is not good for Pakistani cricket. I see PCB changing its rules and including that any cricketer whose first, middle or last name is Shoaib will not play for Pakistan, unless he changes his name, what say?

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