Tagged with " Bollywood"
Oct 10, 2008 - Salman Khan    38 Comments

Bollywood, no more !


I watched mindless TV for an hour last night and decided that my love affair with Bollywood must come to an end. Like all desi girls, I have indulged shamelessly in the fantasy and escapism that Bollywood has provided me all along, but it is getting a little too close to real life.

Don’t get me wrong, I like art house as much as the next pseudo intellectual, it is the total lack of aesthetics in hiring the appropriate cast that is grating on my nerves. Last night, there was a film on one of the channels with Imran Hashmi in the lead. Why should one watch a balding man who is short, ugly, has a big head over really small shoulders and totally over play his cuteness (which is non existent in my opinion). I couldn’t swallow it so decided to switch to another channel, which showed clips of forthcoming Bollywood attractions. There was a song where a fugly (fugly is fucking ugly for the uninitiated) Ajay Devgan was romancing a super hot girl like Kareena Kapoor. I was quite sad to see that on telly; I mean I see that everyday in real life – smart and beautiful girls with really boring and average looking guys, why cinema does has to imitate life? Kher, I soldiered on and then saw what was the ultimate shocker. Himesh Reshmiya is back, this time with fake flowing locks and that too with a sizzling Urmila Matundkar !!! Listening to him was painful enough but seeing him as a passionate lover boy is downright vomit inducing.

I only watched Bollywood to escape reality. Seeing good looking men with rippling muscles serenading the chiffon clad leading ladies in the foothills of Alps has been the escapism I have been indulging all my life. I turn to Bollywood to see Salman Khan shaking his booty, Arjun Rampal’s deep eyes and tattoos, Aamir Khan’s action and John Abraham abs. I can’t be expected to actually shell out money to see a blonde highlighted Ajay Devgan or a toupee wearing midget Himesh.

Adios Bollywood, I am off to see ‘Burn after Reading’. At least Coen brothers are smart. If they have a John Malkovich in the film, they have balanced it out with Brad Pitt and George Clooney.


Apr 7, 2008 - Saif Ali Khan    No Comments

Drool fest

At the behest of my numerous friends (you know who you are), I finally managed to find three hours to spare and convinced my colleagues to go and watch “Race” this weekend. Needless to say I was disappointed.
The minute I entered the cinema, the thing that struck me was, “Dude, is this some high school gathering?” The foyer was full of teenage kids, I even asked my colleague D if we were the oldest people over there. She pointed out a few aunties standing in a corner with their daughters. It has happened with me before; I went to see Scary Movie 3 with my roomies back in UK and it turned out that we were the only people in their twenties who were stupid enough to spend 6 pounds for Scary Movie, I quite felt like an idiot. This film has a PG 13 rating in India but no such rating was awarded by our censor board and there were quite a few preteen kids watching the film on their own and with their mothers.
Anyways, the film was quite exhausting. I actually got tired after watching it, too many twists and turns in the plot, car chases, murder attempts and what not. The dress designer was snoring while he designed clothes for the ladies. They all wore similar mini skirts despite being in very different professions (there was a model, an executive assistant to a CEO, and a police wali). Katrina Kaif’s Blue dress in a dance number was a horrendous Las Vegas’ show girl cast off; no wonder Saif Ali Khan refused to take up her offer of ‘touch me, kiss me’.
Akshay Khanna’s hairy chest was a little too much for my sensibilities. It reaffirmed my belief that metro sexuality is the best way to be for men. If women can get hot wax poured over their bodies, so can men. Someone need to tell Bipasha Basu that she cannot stay in the same posture if she wants to be called an actress. All she do is stand with her shoulders pulled back, chest stuck out and tummy sucked, ready to preen. It might work in modeling but acting requires a lot more than that. Oh no, actually it does not. She has been doing it for quite some time and getting away with it. Anil Kapoor’s dialogues were full of crass double entendre and were in really bad taste. His character was based on Ellen DeGeneres’s character in Goodbye Lover. Did I forget to mention the fact that the film was lifted from “Goodbye Lover?” The screen writer/director replaced a more mundane white collar environment of an ad agency with a stud farm (perhaps so that they can show Saif Ali Khan riding horses and a hot & steamy scene in the stables) and bended the gender of the detective (Ellen DeGenress played the role played by Anil Kapoor) but they remain loyal to the story otherwise.
The only redeeming factor – read person – in the film was Saif Ali Khan. What eye candy!!! I am yet to see a desi man looking this good in a suit. Ladies, it’s a total drool fest with Saif, go watch it if you have not already done that. Its totally worth it.