Though there is no love lost between me and the prime minister, but I must admit that he is the person responsible to bringing most traffic to my blog, seriously.
The post that is a few months old and still gets most hits is the one I wrote, soon after Gilani sahib took oath as the PM, about his boob groping ways in public. Now every online voyeur who googles ‘boobie groping’ or ‘groping in public’ or ‘boobie groping in public’ or ‘groping video’ lands on that post of mine. The other post that generated over two thousand hits in 48 hours (a gigantic number by my standards as I only have five loyal readers who are generally bullied into reading my blog)was the one where he was trying, in fact trying very hard, to be coherent in English. What is strange that most of the people searching boobie groping online happen to be from either India or Nordic countries! I mean it makes sense that Indians want to see something like that given they are about as repressed as we are, but why would anyone be interested in something like this in say, Sweden or Denmark, I mean why?
Another hit generating question that diverts lots of traffic to my blog is “Is Nadia Khan Pregnant?” Apart from bored housewives in Pakistan and Middle East, I get hits from Belgium and Germany about the suspected bun in Nadia Khan’s oven. In my honest opinion, Nadia Khan has become Pakistan’s answer to Angelina Jolie whose womb is probably more closely scrutinized than the nuclear assets of a major country.
Another hit generating word is Taliban, most of the people searching Taliban are from US who land here on my blog. Instead of finding about the exact location of good ol’ Osama Bin Laden, all they get to see is my letter to Talib brothers and the story of them capturing marble mines in FATA.
Search for Sherry Rehman also landed a lot of people on the groping Prime minister’s post. People have googled questions as varied as ‘who is her hair stylist?’ to the fact ‘if she is married to Rehman Malik’ (Anyone who has seen her husband Nadeem Hussien would know that any one who has ever been married to Nadeem Hussian cannot even look at Malik sahib with affection, let alone marry him).
Shahid Masood is another hit generating person. People have googled everything, from his weight to his salary at PTV to his relations with Zardari and what not.
Here is my advice to fellow bloggers, if you want to increase the number of hits on your blog, just blog about Gilani sahib and a few of his cabinet members (Read Sherry and Malik) and viola, you are popular.
PS: My nephew thinks the most popular term these days in Pakistan is ‘Muakhza’