Browsing "Shoaib Akhtar"

A person’s womb and gestation is a private matter, even if that person happens to be Meera!

Of late, I have been visiting the media and communications departments of a few universities and speaking with students about how to sift through the clutter, focus on the news and cut out the irrelevant bits and pieces so that every news item should be crisp, precise and most of all accurate and free of embellishments. 
I have innumerable print and video clips that tell us what NOT to do while writing a report or making a package. Unfortunately, clips that show us good ethical journalism are rare. Try as I may, pieces where the reporter and/or his editor have applied basic critical thinking tools and journalistic ethics are hard to come by. However some reports are so bad they do not even care for a even a minimum degree of professionalism and print slanderous, unsubstantial and at times damaging stories that serve no purpose other than humiliating people and provide salacious fodder for the voyeuristic amongst us. This report about Meera’s alleged abortion by the horrible horrible Jang group is one such example.
For starters, this report is about a very private matter of a woman and should not have been published. Getting an abortion under any circumstances is a private matter and should be dealt as such. But the reporter Shahab Ansari not only reported the incident, he milked it for what it was worth and added other unnecessary detail. For instance, when the doctor told him that the abortion was carried out due to no fetal activity, he chose to speculate if the actress had carried out actions to stop that fetal activity of which he had no proof. Even if it had been true, the matter is private and not open to public debate. You and I and that reporter have no right to determine what a mother should or should not have done. We should NOT be interested in another person’s womb and gestation activity, period.  
He also speculated that Meera wanted to conduct the DNA test of the fetus which obviously is no one’s business but the moron of a reporter had to add this bit to make the news more masalaydaar for lack of a better word.
The doctor at the hospital should be stripped of her medical practice license for divulging all the private details of her patient’s medical history. I request all the Lahori ladies looking for ob/gyn services should boycott Dr Shahida Khawaja and her hospital for breaking the patient doctor confidentiality code. Shame on you Dr Khawaja, shame on you.
The reporter chose to end the report with a veiled threat citing Section 338 of the Pakistan Penal code which basically says that a whoever causes a woman with child whose organs have not been formed, to miscarry is said to cause ‘Isqat-i-Haml’ and is liable to a punishment of a minimum of three years imprisonment if the abortion is performed by the woman’s consent.
We have insulted the life choices of our celebrities many a times, be it Veena Malik’s nude shoot or Shoaib Akhtar’s medical records, giving the reason that the celebrities ask for it by being in the limelight. But what about this incident when it is obvious that Meera is trying hard to keep a personal issue to herself? The reporter not only reported what happened but also speculated to make her come across as a woman of loose morals who has no idea who the father of her unborn baby was. Asking her father-in-law who has been hostile towards her in the past was just adding more masala to an already sordid saga.
If the current lot of journalists resort to the worst form of yellow journalism, no matter what we teach our kids in media schools will be useless because the market tells them that this is the trash that sells. If a market leader with a lot of money like Jang group indulges in this type of sensational and scandalous crap then there is no hope for smaller cash strapped media houses.

Bromances and brokeback !

So Cricinfo tweeted this photo with a “So much love in the Pakistan team” caption earlier today.

and the Pakistani twitteratti responded with this photo saying what about this one?

Pakistani tweeples thought that the picture with Ajmal and Akhtar was more bromance whereas the one with Sachin and Sehwag was more … errr. Brokeback. 
I asked people to come up with captions and here are some of the more interesting ones.
@shiringul “if I lose my head, it’s your ass on the line!”
@a_bong “I got your back …”
@ammaryasir   Sehwag: “Pedicure?” Tendulkar: “Ahaa, usual preparation for the big match against Pak”
@absarshah   ‘Sucking the marrow out of life”
@kamranbukhari   “Ass, gas or grass, nobody rides for free”
@alexpressed “baout yaraana lagta ay!”
@fayyazahmed  Tendulkar: “Cover my behind, will ya?”
@Ahmad_Malik  “After an intense batting session, Sehwag helped Sachin take care of his guard problems.”
@Zonk_D  Sehwag “I got your back ! ” Sachin – “only if you keep your head in right place ” ; )
Haya Fatima came up with “Bum chick chick bum, bum, bum chick chick bum!!”
Nabeel Zuberi came up with “Turn over and do it the Afridi way, Viru.”
Ibrahim Muhammed Khalil gets a special mention for double submissions along with Aneela Z Babar.
Ibrahim came up with “jin pe takya hay, wohi hawa daynay lagay” and “CYA – Cover your Ass”
And @AneelaBabar  came up with gems like “The Butt stops here” and “Haseena Atom Bum Part 2”
And winner is @amna_kaleem  who came up with this sterling line “Who needs a shoulder when you have Sachin’s bum to lean on.”
Here are some other caption worthy pictures. 
Defying gravity?

An India Pakistan game can make Service Cheetah go all witty

Arrrggghhh! enough with the lecture already…

Somebody get me out of here

Orange is the new black

bach ke jayega tu kahan

To borrow a line from Ali Azmat, bum bum phatta 
Audition for High School Musical 4?

Byoz offering prayers, the only one missing is good ol’ Shoiab Akhtar 🙂

Poster boy for liposuction!

Two is company …

For the first time in a very long time, our cricket team looks united and act like a team – considering the fact that we still have elements like Kakmal, it’s a feat. There is no news of factions or back biting and as rumor has it, all is well in the dressing room. Even the captaincy debate did not turn acrimonious and both Misbah and Afridi praised each other and were willing to play under the other. However, just like the animal kingdom where some animals are more equal than the others, there are some relationships which are stronger than the others.

Of late, Shoaib Akhtar and Shahid Afridi seem inseparable. Had they been teenage girls, they would have been certified BFFs. But the very obvious regard they have for each other is very endearing – at least to their fans.

Shoaib Akhtar cannot refuse when Lala calls for him

Akhtar thinks that he and Afridi are the two sartorial wonders in the team

and here is some pictorial evidence

If we were not totally smitten by these two, this one would come across as an odd one.

Back in the day when both Lala and Akhtar were part of the test squads

Akhtar: Not now Fawad, this is between me and Lala

Let’s see who roars more ferociously

Is Lala checking out Akhtar’s ass?

Two is company, three is crowd.

Yeh Dosti, hum naheen chorain gay

that’s some love …

In most sports there are moments captured by camera which are unintentionally homoerotic. Sometime back, HuffPo profiled some such shots but most of them were from contact sports like American football, Ice hockey and wrestling where such photos are inevitable.
Here in our little, but densely populated, corner of the world, we have cricket which is a gentlemen’s game and chances of such photographs are minimal but our boys in green do not disappoint us and do provide our photographers with some gems.

Afridi is the undisputed national object of man crushes, it was but inevitable that he would get some love

But here, Yuni Bhai insists on piggy backing Akhtar …
… who in turn takes advantage of Mohammed Asif …


but he eventually gets crushed by SRK

PS: Though Afridi is the undisputed man crush but the one person common in all these pictures is Shoaib Akhatr, does this mean Lala faces some stiff competition in his own team? 

PPS: What’s with SRK and Pakistani cricketers, I mean seriously?

Nov 27, 2009 - Shoaib Akhtar    13 Comments

Persecution of another kind !

Pakistan’s cricket board has got to be the most indiscreet sport regulating body in the globe. First they leaked the reports about Shoaib Akhtar’s genital warts to the world and now they are showing displeasure at his attempts to gain fitness after undergoing liposuction. While it may not have been the smartest move on Akhtar’s part – his whole life is a series of one bad decision after another – the board in general, and its deputy director general Dr Waqar Ahmed in particular, have been quite vindictive in repeatedly over sharing his medical condition with media down to the details of exact numbers of kilograms of fat lost during the aforementioned liposuction session.

Pakistan Cricket Board is not the most efficient sporting board in the world and is using one Shoaib Akhtar incident after another to deflect the spotlight from its own incompetence and mismanagement.

It’s not just the cricket board or the media that laps up every little morsel of salacious news about the likes of Meera & Shoaib Akhtar, everyone of us who consumes such news, laughs at it and shares it at various social networking sites are just as guilty. It’s about time we give them a break.

Apr 15, 2008 - Shoaib Akhtar    No Comments

All about restoration

This Friday Times cartoon best capture the restoration hysteria that has engulfed our country.
First it was about restoring the judiciary, then the politicians ask for restoration of Lal Masjid Khateeb (yeah, the same cleric who ran away in a black Burqa) and now some of them (read PM Gilani, Senator Enver Baig and MNA Hanif Abbasi) want to restore Shoaib Akhtar!

And I call for the restoration of Sanity!

PS: you can see the cartoon in original size if you click on the photo.