Browsing "quirky"
Jun 11, 2009 - quirky    31 Comments

Gaddafi on a mission to meet 700 Italian women

Separately, Silvio Berlusconi and Colonel Muammar Gaddafi are about as coo coo crazy as it gets, but when you put them together, its gets beyond wacky and enters into realm of subliminally nutty.

Colonel Muammer Gaddafi, who is responsible for keeping a company or two of jet black hair dyes in business, is now touring Italy, the land of Pizzas, Pasta and Silvio Berlusconi. Apart from being the dictator par excellence – he has been ruling Libya for a good forty years now – his claim to fame is that he employ young women as his bodyguard (he has male guards too but leaves them home when he travels abroad to look cool) and erects a tent to sleep in wherever he go.

During his recent trip to Italy, the crackpot dictator personally requested to meet 700 women from the world of ‘politics, industry and culture’. Now how he came about that particular number is something I will never know, but Zoe Williams at Guardian speculates about the selection procedure of those who get to meet the Libyan leader. She believes that “Berlusconi must have gotten down his Bumper Catalog of Hot Stuff, got rid of any that were over 25, discarded those with a loud voice or body hair, and whittled down the rest by ballot until he got to 1,000.” I don’t know how the final 700 were selected.

Among those who get to shake it with the tent pitching nomadic leader, Italy’s Minister for Equal Opportunities Mara Carfagna is at the forefront. Minister Carfagna claim to fame is that she is a former topless model and has been the subject of public flirting by Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi.

Before we debate the peculiarity and creep quotient of the request and Berlusconi government’s proclivity to entertain weird demands of the foreign dignitaries, let me remind you that it is not the first time such a request was made and entertained. Apparently, a similar request was made during his trip to Paris a couple of years back where he met with 1000 Parisian women, who were told he wanted to “save European women.” He was not very clear on what he wanted to save them from, though.

If anyone thinks I have seen some crazy ass political satire and soft porn last night and mixing the two here, let me remind you that truth is stranger than fiction almost all the time.

Gaddafi in all his hair dyed glory

Jun 5, 2009 - quirky, Science    13 Comments

The truth about space travel and curry

Gone are the days when parents used to tell their children, “Eat an apple a day, and keep the doctor away.” A new research, obviously carried out by a desi, says that you can ward off dementia and Alzheimer’s if you eat curry two or three times a week. How is that for a diet plan, eh?

Professor Murali Doraiswamy, of Duke University in North Carolina, said there was evidence that people who eat curry meals regularly have a lower risk of dementia. The key ingredient is curcumin, a component of the spice turmeric. Curcumin appears to prevent the spread of amyloid protein plaques – thought to cause dementia – in the brain.

If you are a desi living in the West, now is the time to invest in that curry house. Chances are that you will strike gold.

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While we are at weird scientific announcements, Astrobiologist Dr Lewis Dartness revealed that living without gravity would cause space travelers’ bones and muscles not to develop properly, leaving them stunted and weak.

Not only that, body fluid will float up to the brain to give human heads a permanently swollen look and the outer space residing human race of the future will also be “pretty chubby” As there would be no dust around, human will morph into hairless beings.

In short, if the Star Trek franchise led you to believe that Captain Kirk (specially the version played by Chris Pine) is a handsome fellow with a normal sized head full of hair, scientific evidence says otherwise. Long-distance space travel will leave us humans short, fat and bald. I wonder if anyone will aspire to be astronauts anymore?

Chris Pines looks far far away in the space as Captain Kirk

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Jan 14, 2009 - quirky, Society    43 Comments

Fighting recession with S.E.X

Credit crunch, recession, economic bail outs, stock market crash; who hasn’t heard these words or have not been affected by them (you may have escaped them if you are living in Mars, but chances are, that the news of economic gloom reached outer space as well). The price of food items has gone up, fuel prices go roller coaster from one extreme to the other in the span of a couple of months, the car you leased last year is not so affordable any more with increased interest and monthly payments – in short; life is getting tougher by the day. The question is; how do one battle out this recession. You cannot forgo food; you gotta live. You cannot get away with not paying your electricity and gas bills as you gotta cook that food and run that refrigerator. Where is that you can cut corners and save those Benjamins (or Quaid-e-Azams or Gandhis or Queen Elizabeths depending upon whose face adorn your local currency)? Most of us are in a quandary about our saving options, but the Brits are quite clear on how will they save that extra bit of money – they turned to sex as a cheap recreational way to pass time.

According to BBC, A YouGov survey of 2,000 adults found sex was the most popular free activity, ahead of window shopping and gossiping. The Scots were most amorous with 43% choosing sex over other pastimes, compared with 35% in South England. Around one in 10 respondents to the survey said their favourite free activity was window shopping and 6% chose going to a museum as the cheapest way to pass the time. But the sexes differed on their priorities, with women preferring to gossip with friends while men had sex firmly at the top of their list.

Reading this bit of (dated) news reminded me of my 9th grade Pakistan studies class. Those who are not Pakistanis or have not lived in Pakistan during the school years should count themselves lucky that they never had to endure a subject called Pakistan studies and memorize Quaid-e-Azam’s 14 points, but I digress. Among other unmatchable gems, 9th grade Pakistan Studies book states lack of recreation facilities as one of the reasons of Pakistan’s population explosion. A gallacticaly stupid thirteen year old me could not work out the connection between ‘lack of recreation’ and ‘rising population’ and I asked my teacher, “How can the number of parks and cinemas we have be responsible for the population explosion?” My teacher got flustered and told me to ask my mother. As I never took much interest in Pakistan studies, I never bothered to ask my mom. It is only now that I understand the connection between poverty, lack of recreation and population explosion. Looks like Pakistanis have always been onto what Brits are just discovering. When there is nothing else to do, hit the sack, preferably with a member of opposite sex. Unlike Brits, we are quite lax about family planning and we do not have NHS which provides free contraception and morning after pills.

Ah the perils of third world living.

Nov 14, 2008 - quirky    15 Comments

Links for the weekend

Some links that I thought should be shared with friends and foes

A preacher in Nigeria was given reprieve by the superior court, who was earlier arrested for marrying 86 women and fathering 170 children. Actually, he was only arrested for marrying 86 women, but should have been arrested for bringing in 170 children into this world.

He was arrested because custodians of Sharia wanted him to divorce all his wives but four, as allowed by the Sharia, the preacher on the other hand wanted the cake and eat it too, so he declined and now, it looks that he will happily ever after with all his 86 wives, 170 (and counting) children and numerous grandchildren.

The Onion has this hilarious take on this international conman named Barrack Obama who ran away with left over campaign money.

In another news, an Italian man was granted divorce by a court in Salerno on the grounds of …well, a nagging all intrusive mother-in-law. He hopes to get married again but he is strictly looking for a girl who has no parents.

University of Oxford came up with a list of ten most annoying terms/words used in English language and the most annoying one was ‘at the end of the day’ !!!! I think Brits have not heard the really annoying phrases of late. If they want, they can come and chat with Dr Shahid Masood and only then they will know what can be constituted highly annoying and superfluous as hell.

Austrailians are fighting the slump in the economy in an innovative way. In Canberra, Australia, a holiday resort will hold a month-long, nude “anything goes” party to combat an expected economic downturn. According to the management of the resort, it will be a ‘hedonism resort’, where anything goes for a month. If you are into kinky stuff, book your reservations now, but get in shape before you actually there. You won’t have any designer duffs on you to hide the cellulite and extra tire that you carry around your mid section.

Oct 31, 2008 - quirky    18 Comments

The voodoo dolls and Nicolas Sarkozy

French have beaten every other nation in the world when it comes to poking fun at their head of state. Let’s admit; George W. Bush, Silvio Berlusconi, Angela Merkel and our own President Zardari make a much better fodder for poking fun but the French have beaten us all. They came up with Nicolas Sarkozy voodoo dolls.

The Nicolas Sarkozy doll went on sale Oct. 9th 2008. The president tried having it banned but that decision backfired and it became the hottest selling cult item. The doll comes with a set of 12 pins and a manual which explains in detail how to put a curse on him.
For only €12.95, French people have a chance to literally poke their president and have fun while doing it.

Sarkozy’s legal team demanded a ban, arguing that the president owns the right to his image and had never authorized the doll, but the court over ruled the litigation saying that the doll was protected by what it called the ‘right to humor’. “Caricature and satire, even deliberately provocative and crude, falls under freedom of expression,” three judges wrote in their ruling.

Interestingly, it is his sixth lawsuit this year. In February, Sarkozy sued a journalist for publishing the content of a text message he said he never sent to his former wife, just days before his wedding to his third wife, Carla Bruni. In May he went after two T-shirt producers who had made fun of his last name. He has sued Ryan Air for using the image of his then girl friend Carla Bruni among other litigation cases. If the latest case has made more waves than others, it is also because, as interior minister in 2006, Sarkozy was one of the staunchest defenders of the right of newspapers to publish cartoons of the Prophet Mohammed that offended many Muslims.

Sarkozy turns out to be the most litigious president in the history of France; I bet some of the French people must be wondering if he is better suited for a more litigious society like United States of America than France.

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Sep 3, 2008 - quirky, women    1 Comment

Looking for wife number 14, anyone interested?


King Mswati hunting for wife number 14

Anyone who thinks polygamy is passé has another think coming. Last Monday, tens of thousands of bare-breasted virgins competed for Swaziland King Mswati III’s eye in a traditional Reed Dance; King Mswati was looking for wife number 14, Reuters report.

Walking through the dense crowds in a leopard skin loin cloth, Southern Africa’s last absolute monarch was eying the booty on display and quite a few women seem not to mind it. They think that getting selected to become King’s wife is the only way to escape from the southern African nation’s hardships for the easy life.

“I came here to dance. I wish the king would have chosen me because it’s nice at the king’s place. The wives live a nice life,” said Tenene Dlamini, 16, in a traditional brown skirt.

Critics say Mswati, who has courted controversy for his lavish lifestyle while two thirds of his subjects live in poverty, sets a bad example by encouraging polygamy and teenage sex in a country where about 40 percent of adults live with HIV.
The Reed Dance has been a big date on the Swaziland cultural calendar since Mswati began the ceremony in 1999.

Some said they would not want to be part of a polygamous arrangement with the king and were taking part in the ceremony to prove their virginity.
Last month, Forbes magazine listed him as the 15th-richest monarch in the world. He was the only African on the list.

During the reed festivities, one of the king’s wives drove up in a fancy BMW. Policemen told people to look the other way.

What other monarchy can compete with such insolence, huh?

Aug 25, 2008 - quirky, romance, women    No Comments

Lonely hearts for ugly women !


A town mayor in Australia has upset the locals by suggesting that ugly women should move there because they have an abundance of single men.

We have all heard about the fact that the women who have bad luck with men should move to Alaska as the male population far outnumber the female population. But it is a first that a mayor – a local official – is suggesting that all the attractively challenged (plain ugly in politically incorrect language) women should move to his town because it has 5 men for every single women and no matter how bad a woman looks, she stands a good chance of hitting off with one of them men.
John Molony is the Mayor of Mount Isa, a remote mining town in Queensland, Australia and he has made that suggestion. According to the most recent census in 2006, there were just 819 women aged 20-24 living there out of a total population of 21,421.
Mr Molony proposed a novel solution to the lack of eligible ladies in an interview with the Townsville Bulletin: “With five blokes to every girl, may I suggest that beauty-disadvantaged women should proceed to Mount Isa.
“Quite often you will see walking down the street a lass who is not so attractive with a wide smile on her face. Whether it is recollection of something previous or anticipation for the next evening, there is a degree of happiness,” he said. In my opinion, he is chauvinistic moron who thinks that a woman can only be truly happy if she has a man or two at hand. He is also totally objectifying men, gasp!
The council has since been swamped with complaints from both men and women.
Fellow councillor Jean Ferris isn’t impressed: “It’s an absolute disgrace,” she told the Courier Mail. “It’s not council’s view and it’s not mine. We’re definitely appalled,” she said.
But the mayor has refused to apologize for the remarks – saying he was “telling it like it is” and insisting he is “a bloke who respects women.”
“I believe we should look after women,” he said. “I’m told men outnumber women here by five to one. If that’s the case, then perhaps it’s an opportunity for some lonely women.”

Aug 15, 2008 - quirky    No Comments

Drunk as skunk

I read too many crazy news to talk about them separately, so I have decided to lump them all here.

Its not just us, there are other countries in the world that have embarrassing politicians, although we still have the biggest number of embarrassing politicians who bring shame to the country, repeatedly.

Spotted at a recent tennis doubles match between Argentina and Belgium during Beijing Olympics was a drunken fan who was loud and constantly shouting. Eventually Argentine tennis ace David Nalbandian lost his temper and told him to be quiet.

But other Belgian supporters recognized the “very drunk” man as sports minister Michel Daerden.

Daerden was also spotted drunk when cheering on the Belgian hockey team from the stands, say reports.

At least Daerden was endearing enough to root for his country while drunk, our ministers would do everything but root for the country.

In a totally unrelated news, a Chinese man leaked the address of his secret lover while talking during his sleep.
His wife Cao, of Nanjing, said she suspected her husband was up to something.
She revealed: “He became cold to me, and when his phone rang, he would walk out to answer it.”
However, her husband revealed exactly what he was up to during his sleep.
“I tried to have a conversation with him, and he told me the name and address unconsciously,” said the wife.
Cao said she brought up the matter with her husband the next day, but he denied it.
However, when she visited the address she was shocked to discover her husband there with his lover.

In another piece of seriously crazy news, two council workers are in hot water after apparently having sex in their office – oblivious to being watched by a crowd of 20 people.

The steamy session, up against a window on the first floor, lasted 20 minutes. But the couple were unaware that passers-by outside were being treated to an x-rated display through the frosted glass.

According to the Daily Mirror, the pair’s romp was finally broken up by two Police Community Support Officers who had also joined the crowd.

One witness told the paper: “They couldn’t see or hear us and just carried on regardless as we all cheered.

“There were lots of us outside when the PCSOs went in. Then someone knocked, told them they could be seen and they ducked down fast.”

The alleged incident happened at the offices of Oldham Council and the two council officers have been suspended pending an investigation.

Suspension for having a bit of fun in office? Ouch!

Aug 1, 2008 - quirky    No Comments

The £23,000 oil change


Read this:
A motorist sent his ‘Batman’ Lamborghini on a 6,500 mile round-trip to London for an oil change – at a cost of more than £23,000.
The £190,000 vehicle was loaded on to a scheduled flight from Qatar to Heathrow, before being flown back to the Middle East owner.
The Murcielago LP640, a two-seater coupe, features in the latest Batman film The Dark Knight, reports the Daily Telegraph.
The car’s 6.500 miles journey sparked outrage from environmental groups.
One said the owner – thought to be a wealthy Sheikh – had a ‘carbon crater’ rather than a carbon footprint.
According to reports, the black and gold car cost £3,552 to service at an approved dealer, plus around £20,000 to freight to Britain and back.
Jenny Evans from the campaign group Plane Stupid said: “This horrifies me. It is another example of how rich people exploit and pollute the planet because of their money.”
Friends of the Earth transport campaigner Richard Dyer said the trip was “ludicrous”.
“We urge the individual to get their car serviced closer to home,” he added.
However David Price of Lamborghini Club UK said the way the owner chose to have his car serviced was up to him.
“I’m not surprised. Thankfully the age of excess in some areas continues,” he said.
Please answer honestly, after reading this, how many of you were:

• Disgusted at the obscene display of wealth
• Revolted with the carbon footprint of the car and its ‘servicing’
• Fascinated with extravagance
• Wanted to be the Shiekh to have owned the batman Lamborghini.

Honesty will be much appreciated.

Jul 26, 2008 - quirky    No Comments

Twins with a twist

According to UPI, the mother of twin boys born in Germany with dramatically different skin color said she was surprised to see her “black and white” infants.
Florence Addo-Gerth, who is from Ghana, said the older twin looks like his white German father, while the younger twin looks more like she does.
Scientists, however, said the combination is not as rare as people might think. Dr. Melissa Fries, director of genetics and fetal medicine at Washington Hospital Center in the District of Colombia, told U.S. television network there have been a handful of similar cases in the past three years.
Lawrence Balter, professor of applied psychology at New York University, noted fraternal twins are just two children born at the same time.

In additional news, Ryan, who is white, is described as a very spirited baby, and Leo, who has black skin like mom, is described as more “laid back.”
There are twins in our family but we have never had identical twins.

I think it is cool. Both parents has a child that looks like one of the parents.

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