Subliminally ridiculous

A couple of years back, a Dutch friend left Pakistan after having lived here for a few years, when I asked him how does he find life back home, his answer was: boring and mundane. When I asked him to elaborate, he said that he missed the uncertainty of the not getting hot water in the middle of a shower because of gas load shedding, the random strikes for reasons that had nothing to with Pakistani people and the fickle cabbies of Lahore who can charge anything between Rs 150 to 750 for the same distance depending upon the skin color the customer, time of day and (night) and the state you are in (inebriated or sober).
Life in most other countries is humdrum and monotonous; if you are Icelandic, you know you are famous for feminist politicians and banking crisis. In Finland, you know that you export one brand of cell phones and multiple types of fish. Pakistanis have transcended beyond tangible goods and have now started exporting djinns to kill errant housewives. If you are from Swaziland your claim to fame could be the two dozen wives of your king and crushing poverty. But if you are a Pakistani, you have hundreds of parliamentarians who are polygamists. In a society where nothing is predictable, the only thing you can be sure about is that 265 days out of 365, shit is going to hit the fan, you get a hundred day respite because there is no electricity for the fan on those days.
Pakistan is at the top of all things ridiculous, so ridiculous that we can be called subliminally ridiculous. Every country – other than Iceland of course – has some misogynist politicians trying to tell women not to drive or have abortions, wear or not to wear burqa or contest elections, but Pakistan beats them all with the likes of Samina Khawar Hayat, a woman who is not only a misogynist politician but she also advocates and promotes polygamy by trying to make it mandatory for the well off men.
Reams of newsprint and hours upon hours of airtime were devoted to discuss the dent to Pakistani sovereignty (which is as mythical as fire breathing dragons) when US troops landed in Abbotabad to capture Bin Laden but no one barring an odd blogger or a piece in an English daily asked if Osama and his assorted wives living and procreating in Pakistan mocked the sovereignty of the country or not.
The latest entrant in the list – but certainly not the most ridiculous – is the 37 second long sentence handed out to the Prime Minister. While expert are calling it a symbolic sentence, most of us masses are stupefied at the ingenuity of the judges who came up with the sentences. Apart from a tv anchor or two who may suffer brain aneurysm while discussing this sentence, law journals across the world would be commissioning academic research on what could be entered in Guinness Book of world records as the shortest possible sentence, a record that can only be broken by something just as subliminally ridiculous happening in Pakistan. Of course no one will ask the esteemed court about the about the hundreds of thousands of rupees of tax payers money spent on a conviction that lasted less time than it took to write the sentence.
Other countries may be just as ludicrous as we are if not more, what tips the scale in our favour on the ridiculous meter is that we do not even try. To top it all, we do not even have the decency of being charming and quirky about it. 
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  • Hahahaha Tazeen. Really, South Africa could rival Pakistan with exporting Djinns, just here they’re called Tokoloshe’s amongst the native black people (still called Djinns amongst the Muzzies).

    And we have our fair share of load shedding too. Only ours in electricity. Had it down twice today – luckily for only 5 minutes at a time. Thats like a bonus here.

  • Umm.. Did you ever hear about the Ayodhya verdict in India?! The judiciary declared that the site was the exact birthplace of Lord Ram! I will be eternally grateful to whoever can tell me HOW they came to that conclusion! (This being just one of the many absurd things that happen in Incredulous India!)

  • worry not, Taz. India is right up there.

    a few months back, a couple of our pious and ofcourse sanctimonious BJP ministers were caught watching porn in the assembly.

    their excuse, in their own words: “they wanted to know what a rave party is”.

    ofcourse, they were let off lightly.

    when it comes to hypocrisy, idiocy and self-righteousness, our
    Hindu freaks in India can give any one in Pakistan a run for their money.. anytime…

  • Samina Khawar Hayat’s antics fails in comparison to that of the female Kuwait MP who wants that Men should be allowed sex slaves and female prisoners could do the job–WOMAN-politician-Kuwait.html

  • The ridiculous meter just bursts when it come to our dear Pakistan..

  • I see a lot of pak bashing on your blog but why are some fakes like Aditya and clueles indian indulging in Hindu bashing. Do Pakis / muzzies still consider Hindus fair game? If u think urself to be an anti Fatwa liberal then get rid of these jokers’ responses.
    Muslims have started to believe their Mullahs telling them that it is right that 9 year old Virgins are fair game as shown by their religious leader no less

    Rajeev Ashok

  • Shame on you for having moderator powers but letting open Hindu bashing going on

    Proud infidel

  • oye Rajeev and Proud Infidel.

    my hindu buddies, time for your pills? try to do some quiet introspection too. you need lots of it.. I mean the pills.

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