Nov 3, 2011 - Steve Jobs    20 Comments

Steve Jobs is Dajjal!



You know what is the easiest thing to do in Pakistan; coming up with a conspiracy theory. Therefore, everything from Polio vaccine to iodized salt is an American ploy to make our future generations infertile, and floods and other natural disasters are caused by Zionists/freemasons/Satanist or Xenu worshipers to cause grief to the great nation of Pakistan. 

Last week, an email was circulated on Press Pakistan’s google group that has paled all the other conspiracy theories into shame. According to this gem, Apple – the brand represents the apple that lead to the exile of Adam & Eve from heaven and Steve Jobs is the Dajjal who is not dead and is making iPhone 10 in Bermuda Triangle.

If this is satire, it is hilarious but if it was written as a credible/possible theory, then the person should be locked in a padded room – pronto – and the key should be thrown away for good.

I am not translating it because it should be read in Urdu – in all its glory to retain the absurdity. 

Three cheers to The Arrivals-esque generation.

Clip to Evernote

20 Comments

  • Awesome, again. Nothing to do add to it but just wanted to comment. A coworker of mine is fascinated by these conspiracy theories of the eye of Dajjal the anti-christ. He said that the building infront of the PIA office, next to the YMCA, which is currently used by Sindh Wildlife was once the headquarter of Free Masons. “They did some weird shit there man” he told me in the van one day. “The local people who saw them, thought, they are evil spirits reincarnated into Gora saab form”

  • oh my god!!! hilarious!

  • If anyone looks in to that apple logo, the eye they can see will be their own since the logo reflects like a mirror. Would it make them Dajjal?
    People never cease to amuse with their conspiracy theories.

  • i wonder how people come up with such creativity =o i cant even dream in such a way, i must be really dumb =/

  • Bohat bekaar log hain Pakistan ke. Is mulk ko molviyo ki aulaad ne tabaah kar diya hai.

  • That’s the great plan – to install Dajjal alias Steve Jobs in Syria!

    Blame it all on the recession. Uncle Sam is seriously short on cash, so entering ground troops and launching air attacks isn’t a viable proposition anymore. Mr. Jobs will spearhead the one eyed Apple revolution in Syria and the country’s destiny will now be decided through Twitter wars.

    Retorts and Jugat Baazi will replace conventional warfare and Jon Stewart, Chris Rock, Jimmy Kimmel and the ilk shall be unleashed on the poor Syrians. Every inch of Syrian territory will be surrendered to Americans as Syrians continue to submit to the witty viciousness of the Americans on their I-Phones. Specialized I-Pod videos featuring Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton will be made to distract the Syrian clerics. The Muslim ghairat will be consistently challenged by unleashing the evil of MacBooks on them – in short they will be systematically brainwashed and left high and dry devoid of any honor.

    Pakistan will be called upon to defend the Muslim brethren and the clowns from Lahore theatre will be handed the task of defending the sanctity of the entire Muslim Ummah. It will be AmanUllah vs Jon Stewart and Nargis vs Paris Hilton – of course an even match on all accounts. In the end, the Zionists will prevail by offering jobs to all Lahoris in Bollywood films.

    My theory is perfectly reasonable and as close to reality as it could be. After all, The Arrivals has already enlightened us how Barack Husain Obama, George Bush and Queen Elizabeth are not only cousins but also direct descendants of the Pharaohs – hence anything is possible in this bizarre life. I totally agree with this Urdu article – indeed Steve Jobs is Dajjal.

    P.S. (Also, the one-eyed theory is true and in accordance, Imran Khan is also Dajjal – he’s also an “Andhon Mein Kaana Raja.” Teetering on borderline lame, but also a little funny. I think so.)

  • Allah bless Islamic Republic of Pakistan the greatest nation on earth. Phew….%$*#$%%@@@

  • The guy/gal is pretty creative though. 😀

  • The people who come up with such nonsense have no information as to what are the real facts about dajjals arrival and how it is mentioned in the holy book .
    anyone who has read and understood can easily point out the fallices is all such thories .
    ”neam haqem khatrae jaan ”
    this says all about such poeple .

  • wow. The one who would have wrote that must have no life. 😛 Funny what stupid people come up with in their stupid life.

  • Had a good laugh!
    Here’s my two cents. It’s so much easier to come up with and believe in conspiracy theories than to face the dreary reality.

    – N.H.
    gullian.tumblr.com

  • Steve Jobs definitely dajjeled, um, dazzled us!

  • LOL! made me laugh.I don’t even open such emails.

  • Although steve jobs was not dajjal but you cannot say the whole “THE ARRIVALS” series is wrong just because a guy named Steve jobs as dajjal.

    See SHEIKH IMRAN HOSEIN’s videos on youtube and you will come to know the reality. Today’s society is being build for dajjal and he will come in next 30+ years.

    When you ROSHAN-KHAYAL MUSLIMS gonna come to know that today’s modernism is taking you away from humanity.

    When are muslims going to believe that USA is being run by freemasons who are building a system for dajjal. I think all muslims will come to know when they will have no FREE ISLAMIC COUNTRY LEFT AND US FORCES WILL OCCUPY ALL OF YOU!!!!

    OPEN UR EYES MUSLIMS. ALTHOUGH STEVE JOBS WAS NOT DAJJAL (and it is fun to say that) BUT STILL TODAY’S WORLD IS BEING BUILT FOR DAJJAL

  • Hi Tazeen,
    Please translate this into english for those who cannot read urdu.

  • LOL

  • yes i think its the easiest way to get famous.
    Building conspirancy theories.

  • Nice Sharing
    Thats Y Muslims Are hated …
    Shame On The one Who Started Such A Bad Thought ..DEvil !!!!

  • Also, all iPhones and iPads have just one button at the front. That is not button, its the eye of dajjal. Its actually a camera that monitors your whole life! 🙂

  • everything else is fine but why is steve jobs hiding in bermuda triangle and making iphone 10? and whatever happened to iphone 5, 6, 7 etc? pakistan zindabad. FTW!

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