Sep 30, 2011 - Rawalpindi    14 Comments

All you wanted to know about General Kiyani’s cigarettes but were afraid to ask

Because I am slightly odd, I have friends who also veer in the same direction and the conversations we have are also of not your garden or average variety. Last night AB and I were having a random chat session and she came up with a couple of peculiar questions (mind you, we were already done with the mandatory bitch fest about a lady who was simultaneously flirting the pants off a couple of elderly gentlemen). I attributed the strangeness of her questions to the fact that she grew up in Rawalpindi and the fascination with GHQ is but natural.
Here is an excerpt.

AB: Yaar ek baat tau batao? Did General  Zia-ul-Haq use desi khizab (cheap local hair dye), Kala Kola (the only brand of hair dye available in Pakistan back in 1980s in black and brown)  or some other fancy shmanzy hair dye that Mrs. Zia must have picked up for her husband’s wispy follicles? (Yes, my friends and I are totally obsessive compulsive over bad hair dye jobs of generals long gone.)

Tazeen: (After much contemplation and deliberation) I think Gen. Zia must have used Beijinghair colour; after all he had to put in his weight behind the whole Pak China friendship.

AB: OK, and what brand of cigarettes does General Kiyani smoke?

Tazeen: Why do you want to know about Kiyani’s ciggis?

AB: Yaar another friend mentioned that he rolls his own cigarettes?

Tazeen: Come on, you can’t expect a general sahib to do anything himself. I think he smokes K2, akhir inki shan bhi tau Paharon jaisee hai.

PS: Because I generally whine a lot about Pindi, I dedicate this post to AB who is kinda cool despite being growing up in Rawalpindi.
PPS: While the whole world was busy discussing APC, we were discussing Kiyani’s ciggies and hair dyes, what happens when you are born and then spend your childhood – not to mention most of your adult life – under military rule and how it impacts you.
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  • The convo. HAHA.

  • bhui aisa hai ke I am more interested in the conversation that preceded this one. The one about a lady and the two elderly gentlemen. I bet it would be a lot more enlightening.

  • There’s a factual error in this post. Hazrat Kiyani swoons over Bips Basu and switched to BEEDI long time back. Adios K2!

    Also, the media has been falsely reporting on his alleged friendship with Adml Mullen. The zionist westerners to have befriended Hazrat Kiyani are in fact two Scottish gentlemen, who go by the names of Johnny Walker and Jack Daniels. The Hazrat is regularly found in their company every evening. Perhaps, we should be placing the onus of shaping our foreign policy on those two chumps.

    Also, Hazrat Zia’s hair-dye was in fact Cherry Blossom shoe polish. Presidents Carter and Regan can testify to that.

    Good post Tazeen. Although Woody Allen called – he wanted to humbly inquire if he could use the title of this post for a film he released in 1969.

  • Rawalpindi is awsome.

  • So you’re becoming like NFP now, making dialogues where you always have the perfect response. Wah!

  • Anon @ 13:24

    Rawalpindi! Awesome! Let’s not stretch the truth please. Even Shoaib Akhtar cannot manage to up the stakes of the city to that level.

    Anon @ 13:48

    Apkay munh mein ghee shakar. I wish I was like NFP. He actually gets paid to think up those conversations. I, on the other hand, publish them on my blog.

  • Kaun kambakht hamari zaat par shak karta hai and that I can pose these queries of Tazeen?
    T, is purdah ko hutney do.
    Verily, it was I who asked these questions of this girl. By denying me you deny Pindi and a soul that doubteth Pindi surviveth not

  • Haha good one. this was certainly better than watching the APC.

    At least generals have a personality and a aura, unlike the cartoons in the APC.

  • Tazeen, I think he used Mehndi!

  • Gen Kiyani is habitual of three things, smoking-drill, book-reading and biscuit-eating. no matter where he is or will be, what is more important to get his habits foollowed:)

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • Tazeen

    Why the heck has my post been deleted? can u plz lemme know What is it in that post that u found offensive? if a liberal like ya find it “explicit” or vulgar then we surely are fucked.Man, its rude.It just pissed me off.

  • I think Tazeen has a bias against people men who dye their hair.

    Wait for the day when Afridi has to dye his hair.

  • HAHAHA. Awesome -.- You should get paid for making up those convo’s in your head.

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