Mar 27, 2011 - Shahid Afridi    26 Comments

What’s a pressure cooker, we live in Pakistan

Back in 2006, my friends and I went to National stadium Karachi to see a match between West Indies and Pakistan. Though it had nothing to do with the match, for every Boom Boom poster we’ve made, we made one that said Darryl Hair Sucks. For cricket fans in Pakistan, umpire Darryl Hair was the most despised human being that year. Last year, it was the bookie par excellence Mr. Mazhar Majeed (those who are on twitter and want to tell him personally what a ch**t piece he is can do it here). During this world cup, Pakistan cricket team’s number 1 enemy seems to be Mr. Ian Chappell.
Chappel has had problems with everything; from our idiot of a captain to our team huddle to the celebrations by the same captain. Everything we do seem to rile him up. In addition, he thinks we are not capable of winning the world cup because we cannot beat three teams in a row. Mr Chappell is of the opinion that “Mahendra Singh Dhoni is a much calmer leader than Shahid Afridi” and that India under Dhoni is more capable of taking pressure on than Pakistan under Afridi.

Now don’t get me wrong; I think Dhoni is one of the smartest Indian cricketers and he is one hell of a fighter but things are not as stacked against him as they are against our Lala. Lala lost two of his front line bowlers last year to the spot fixing scandal, he has been playing his home series in places as varied as Dubai and England, he has not played a single game in front of his home crowd since March 2009, but he still managed to galvanize a traditionally fractioned team into a cohesive unit where everyone (barring Kamran Akmal) is doing what they are supposed to do to the best of their abilities. Mind you, he does not even have the human resource that some of our past captains have had at their disposal yet he still managed to get team Pakistan in the last four, something that eluded us in the past two world cups. If this is what idiocy is capable of, then I say bring on some more of the same madness – Lala’s brand of madness. Considering the lives we all live and the battles we all fight everyday for mere survival, I think no one can handle pressure better than a Pakistani and our men in green are just as capable of surviving the pressure cooker in Mohali as anyone else, if not more.
Lala’s brand of madness

The other person who is being booed by Pakistanis, though with a little less intensity, is ICC chief Haroon Lorgat. To say that Pakistanis have been irked by his wish for a fairy tale ending for Sachin Tendulkar would be putting it mildly. Mr Lorgat wishes/believes that India will win the semi final and that Sachin Tendulkar will get to make his 100th century in International cricket in Mubai in front of his home crowd which will be an awesome end to the little master’s career. It seems that ICC chief, who should have been impartial, has actually not been impartial and if his words are to be taken seriously, then the whole tournament is organized not to see which team has performed best, but to provide that fairy tale ending to the Indian cricket team in general and to one Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar in particular.
Mr Lorgat sucking up to Indians

I wish team Pakistan goes on to win the Semi final and the final so that we can rub it on Mr Lorgat’s face.
Here is wishing the men in green all the good luck, I hope you bring the cup back with you and give us something to smile about.
The idiot who will do the trick
Some awesome men in green
Awwwww
Clip to Evernote

26 Comments

  • Insha’Allah we’ll win on March 30th and again on 2nd April 🙂

  • Who is this Lorgat guy? He sounds more like sachin’s mom and less like the ICC chief.

  • Afridi is a sexy beast, look at his calves.

  • Copied from the mind of every Pakistani and pasted well at the blog. Only tazeen could’ve done it. Brilliant. Again.
    Bring it ON at Mohali.

  • Sarah Batool and Qasim,

    Sachin’s mom and sexy beast, your comments deserve another blog 🙂

  • The son of Mongol’s godly worth doesn’t get demean by a geriatric Chappell’s words. In fact, it’s a caulk for him to be more barbaric and grizzly as ever. Very nicely put by you on Lord Shahid’s captaincy, the last English summer and the way he lead the boyses through is one of the main reasons his manliness priority shot up many folds.

    Sub continent will submit to him in the next 6 days, iA.

  • Thanks for this beautiful post! Indeed Lala has managed a fragile team into a winning squad. In Punjabi (Kuttay bhokday rahnday ne te rahi lahgde rahnde ne.

  • Loved the piece. Lala and Co. means business, our team has already raised the bar since the turmoil they had dipped themselves into. Now the bunch is just two steps away from snatching away their dreams of a fairytale ending.

    The beast will swallow them and will conquer the world Inshallah.

  • Jaanemann, kya post. Thank you for Lala-Calves-Salivation.

    I feel it is time to share and care on the interwebs… [after saving calves pic as wallpaper.]

    Full-full respects for SRT. Who cares about Haroon? Der phitte munh.

  • TAzeeen inshallah we will rock if Prime Minister Gillani will not do any deal in the name of diplomacy….

  • Am I glad or what that I have found you? You have written what 11 posts on cricket (yes I have read them all) and each one of them is a perfect gem.

  • i have worked with lala few times during my adverosing days. the man is an asshole but there is no denying his love for the country and the game. i love him for that and he is the apt choice to lead. as for haroon and chappel, if i get to meet them, i will make them listen to himmesh reshammiya songs for 6 hours straight followed by watching 13 episodes of sahir lodhi show. then they will know what it means to be on the wrong side of pakistanis.

  • haha! the chappell pic is priceless… keep writing tazeen – its always a pleasure to read your blogs

  • Whatever others say it really doesnt matter.the thing that matters that we reached semis with this team..Afridi worked hard and to remember we didnt even expect our team to reach quaters ..so i really do want them to win semis but what if they dont ..i will still stand for team green..we are very emotional as a nation ..and think we should be ready for everything..if we win there is nothing like it and what if we loose ..we should cheer our team in any case..they have done a superb job till now …

  • Its like we’re never had a match of this intensity with so much at stake. I think the whole nation is behind the men in green with its heart and mind. This match, let alone its result, means alot to us. I never anticipated them reaching so far in to the rounds that too so stylishly.
    My best wishes for the team. Even if we lose, that’ll be a match to remember.

  • Sami Saayer, would you care to elaborate on the “he man is an asshole” comment. Did he get tired of gulping a Pepsi bottle for the 20th time for the camera or was he unprofessional in his behaviour or…?

  • Mr. Man crush on lala, i would probably think about elaborating on it some other time if needed. as of now, im a supporter. however, your assumption is wrong. here is afridi pose for you \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/

  • Sexy calves FTW. Sarah Batool, you need to come up with your own blog.

  • nice blog, green is the way to go

  • good article, great to see the orange asses burning

  • ^^^^
    orange asses, are we playing it against the Dutchies???

  • I can’t wait for this match. To pay a tribute to all the hype …

    On March 30, describing India vs Pakistan …

    Turbo charged epic clash of the titans with batsmen blazing away, the ball disappearing to the boundary like a tracer bullet, bowlers bamboozling with magical deliveries, the crowd going berserk, with billions watching around the globe …

    🙂 I am of course hoping for an Indian win but above all, I am hoping for a good, friendly game.

  • G’yeah!

    Go Green Mean Machine!

  • Who Won?

  • i am reading this post after the world cup and all i can say to you now is :

    Now you know why Chappel is the commentary box and not you 🙂

    I was 99.99% confident that INDIA will win for the same reasons as Chappel mentioned.

  • In reality your creative writing abilities has inspired me to begin my own BlogEngine website now.

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