Nov 22, 2010 - religion    17 Comments

The not so curious case of a chaotic and confused mind

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What would we do without the paragon of virtue, Qibla Mufti-e-Azam Hazrat Maulana Ansar Abbasi sahib – the upholder of morality of millions of Pakistanis, the mainstay of the sanctity of the family values of misguided Pakistanis and the defender of the piety of all the citizens?

Because he has an opinion on everything under the sun and his expertise ranges from Kerry Lugar Bill to NRO to Baloach dissent to Altaf Bhai’s embroidered kurtas, it is but natural that he would also dabble in some fashion journalism. But because he does not do it like other run of the mill journos, he would just not report on fashion, nor would he write an investigative report on it, he would comment on the recent fashion week with quotes from Quran and try and tell us how high fashion impacts the mating habits of millions of Pakistanis.

Ansar Abbasi started off with how scantily clad women on the catwalks of the fashion week will adversely impact on the family values and somehow linked it to people living in sin and how children will not know who their fathers are. With all due respect, I would like to ask Ansar Abbasi if he lives in the same country as we do. Who in their right mind would prefer cohabitation over marriage with Hudood ordinance looming over their heads? He lamented Western depravity where men and women live together outside holy matrimony and procreate and then was outraged that men can get married to other men and women can get married to other women. I mean stick to your guns Abbasi sahib, you can either be pro marriage or against it, you can’t change your stance in the middle of the sentence, can you?

According to A-Dawg (I rechristen him after this definition of T Dawg which kinda fits him to T), fashion weeks (with an audience of perhaps 0.001% of the population) have made Pakistan more obscene and vulgar than countries like USA or India (this is not what I think butthese countries are torchbearers of vulgarity in A-Dawg’s opinion). He is not too happy with the likes of Imran Khan, Syed Munawar Hasan, Nawaz Shareef, Chaudhry Nisar and Fazlur Rehman for not protesting against the fashion weeks and wanted the Chief Justice to take suo moto action against it.

When A-Dawg could not make sense out of the collective silence of the resident right wing politicians, he picked on the average citizens of the city of Karachi (the venue of the fashion week) for not coming out on streets to protest against it. Most of the poor Karachiites do not even know when such events take place, they are too busy commuting from this end of the city to the other, attending a million and one weddings (which totally rubbishes his theory of people living in sin) and dodging the stray bullets meant for political targets but A-Dawg is too angry about the obscenity to care.

Café Pyala has a posted a pretty decent translation of his column (if it can be called that) but I suggest that those who can read Urdu must read it in its original glory. The number of times A-Dawg has used the words ‘uryaniyat’, ‘fuhashi’, ‘behayaee’, ‘belibasi’, ‘behudgee’ (variations of obscenity, vulgarity and nudity) reflects the piety of his thoughts, Mashallah!

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17 Comments

  • un ke gunah gaar ankhoo nay bharpoor maza uthaya tharktay baylibaas jismoo ka. jo lazzat aur rahat milee woh na pochyee. yeh aur baat hay kay typical pakistani andaaz mein a-dawg nay khaa pee kar fart kar diya :p

  • why r the mullahs & their apologists obsessed with the length of women’s clothes.Why do they start breathing fire & hyperventilate when they see a girl without a burqa??

    why does a woman wearing jeans become a ‘GHAIRMULKI SAAZISH” ??

  • why am I thinking A-DAwg and Talat H sitting in a tree, K-I_S_S_I_N_G?
    behudgee kay do do baap.

  • “Pakistan’s mainstream media is under the control of the establishment and it’s said that editorial policies of the major media outlets are either determined by the Inter-Services Public Relations (ISPR) or the Inter-Services Intelligence (ISI). Therefore, it’s believed, the mainstream media is hostile to the elected democratic government. It shows no respect for the civilian Supreme Commander of the Armed Forces but eulogizes the General in command.”

    http://theterrorland.blogspot.com

  • hahaha, this is hilarious. I saw Ansar Abbasi at the venue but I never thought he would come up with this equation.
    Fashion=single parenthood=end of society.

  • LOL…thats all i have to say about this article…He seriously needs to get a life…

  • Hahaha. This is brilliant. Whatte well writ. “According to A-Dawg (I rechristen him after this definition of T Dawg which kinda fits him to T)” even!
    Lovely to imbibe Pak current affairs in this fashion for someone who really has no clue. Also, the comments are #WIN. 🙂

  • get ur facebook page where ur articles can appear in the newsfeed section of ur fans,like dawn,atp & tribune do as all the articles from the blogs we become fans of on facebook appear in one place & it would become much easier to access your articles

  • Can someone working for Jang/The News please take a print out of this blog and post it on the doors of newsroom with A-Dawg in neon colors?

  • That last line… had me laughing out VERY loud… i mean.. totally.. such a pious mind!!

  • I read too on the day it was published, and ignored it.

    GEO is broadcasting Live dance shows from India/Filmfare Awards etc and Ansar Abbasi teaching us about Modesty.

  • I just wonder what the stance of the media (being represented on various blogs) on the fashion shows would be if it was not written by the above-mentioned journalist. Are we living in the day n age wn anything and everything is possible in the name of ‘enlightened moderation’?

  • I’m glad I found your blog – keep up the great work!!

    Steve
    Common Cents
    http://www.commoncts.blogspot.com

  • Before writing my little comment I consulted Wikipedia to know what “Hudood ordinance” means.

    Now I understand that in your country a woman is being jailed and punished as a consequence for having been raped!

    What flabberegasted me is the fact that not one comment of those 12 I have been reading mentions this.

    This makes me think that a majority of people in Pakistan welcomes this kind of “law” as an invitation to rape without facing any problems afterwards.

    Georg

  • I don’t disagree with any of what you said. Except that there is a difference between pro marriage and anti gay marriages.
    Second, everyone is entitled to their opinion. If Ansar Abbasi feels that the fahashi must end, that’s his view. As long as he can tolerate others and their view point. I’ve attended the Lahore Fashion Week earlier this year and it was a lot of fun. Great display of art, fashion and models. I hope it happens again next year and every year following that.

  • I think what he was trying to communicate was how social norms and practices tend to regress as more and more people play around the boundaries of acceptable behavior.

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