Last week, I wrote a series of five blogs for Dawn.com launch and I received some really interesting feedback on it. For some strange reason – or perhaps quite understandably so – I got a lot of feedback from India. Quite a few people from India wanted to know if am being harassed by ISI for writing what I did. I take this opportunity to clarify that ISI is a hugely important intelligence wing of the government and has better things to do than keep tabs on a blogger, a female blogger and a female blogger who has a personal life that is slightly more exciting that seeing an egg being boiled on a slow burner. Contrary to what every two bit journalist in Pakistan would say – that ISI is shadowing him or taping his phone calls, which sound positively archaic by the way – they do not follow or bug the telephones. They have better things to do such as making sure that Mullah Fazlullah delivers his sermon through his FM radio station on time everyday or making sure that news about PM sahib’s sexcapades do not get to the press. Believe me when I say this: if anyone has to tail a woman, any ISI man worth his salt – or wardi – would rather follow Kashmala Tariq who is not only prettier but leads a far more interesting life.
A reader from Gujarwala has threatened me with a defamation suit. He thinks that I am trying to piggyback on the fame and popularity of the “the great saviour of Pakistan, Mr Imran Khan’ (his words, not mine) and he says that he is gonna file a lawsuit against me so that I ‘stop poisoning the minds of young Pakistanis’. First of all, I would like to thank you for making me feel like a celebrity. I mean who sue normal folks in Pakistan? So I say, bring it on bruthah! That will not only help me in piggybacking some more; I may also end up with my own TV show and may get a book deal to write an expose on the great saviour.
One question that a lot of people asked is why my blog is named ‘A reluctant mind’. Honestly, I don’t know. My blog was originally titled ‘Subliminal Mindfuck’. As only three of my friends were forced to read it, nobody minded that name. A couple of months later, a cousin stumbled upon it and was not only scandalized by the name but also by the fact that it was getting a lot of traffic and comments from porn sites. My cousin thought that writing a blog that attracts porn will diminish my chances of ever landing a suitable boy. She forbade me to change the name and said that if I do not do so, she will tell my dad. Personally, I was also getting sick of all the comments from girls named Cherie or Harmony who would want to do wicked things and would like to do it on my blog, so I changed the name.
Sadly, I still haven’t landed that suitable boy and now face a lawsuit. Some people just attract trouble.