Jan 11, 2009 - Uncategorized    34 Comments

Politically incorrect conversation between a Pakistani and an Indian

I promised Saadia that I will do a Pakistani’s impression of India after the myths post, but I just cannot get to do it (serious time management issues and multiple deadlines). Instead, I have decided to put up a dialogue between a Pakistani and an Indian girl. Chadha is a friend from university days and we stay in touch through the wonderful medium of World Wide Web. Here is a piece for you all – a piece of “people to people interaction’ between the two of us.

Tazeen says:
Chadhaaaaa …. longtime

Maneesha says:
yaar its been chaos at work… I am home now for holidays and still have to keep checking mails

Maneesha says:
By the way I saw my first nikaah ceremony yesterday

Tazeen says:
Ah, so you have seen our version of nuptials. It’s just like Christians’; we just ask them thrice to be really really sure. And of course there is the whole haq meher thing as well and the bits and pieces of “Do you accept Mr X to be your lawfully wedded husband for the meher of Rs. Xyz” and the girl has to respond with “qabool hai, qabool hai, qabool hai “ (I accept, I accept, I accept).

Maneesha says:
Yes, except unlike the movies the boy and girl aren’t separated by a thin curtain, but are in completely different rooms!!!

Maneesha says:
It was quite interesting, particularly since the boy is Sri Lankan and doesn’t understand a word of Urdu.

Maneesha says:
So all of us said what we wanted to in front of him and he didn’t get a word… kya mazaa aaya

Tazeen says:
wah wah

Tazeen says:
This is your masi’s daughter, right?

Tazeen says:
She is marrying a Sri Lankan dude?

Maneesha says:
yup

Tazeen says:
Good, everyone should marry outside their religion and country … that way no one will stay bigoted and unnecessary attachment to clan and country would make way for a peaceful world

Tazeen says:
Gosh, I sound like a Miss World contestant.

Tazeen says:
World peace!!!

Maneesha says:
You know…. write that somewhere… when you are dead and gone, someone will discover it and make it the law…. like in a futuristic movie

Tazeen says:
hahahaha

Tazeen says:
Let me do a blog post on it. (I did this one after the conversation)

Maneesha says:
Totally…. put it there right now

Maneesha says:
Future would be something like this:

Scottie approaches captain Kirk….
Captain I would like your permission to marry a Clingon…
Captain says, with flair – Scottie, as you know, Tazeen’s law is in the making. She was a visionary – she stated those words centuries ago that everyone should marry outside their religion and country (In their case, the marriage could be inter galactic )… that way no one will stay bigoted and unnecessary attachment to clan and country would make way for a peaceful world

Tazeen says:
hahahahaha

Maneesha says:
Or, write it…. the law….

Tazeen says:
Oh as in legal language?

Tazeen says:
Thou shalt only marry outside your clan (if you really have to) otherwise just live in sin. How is that for a brand new commandment?

Tazeen says:
I mean if it is that far along in the future, legal matrimony would have become obsolete by then, naheen?

Maneesha says:
Exactly, then it will be mind connection, and telepathy and other less messy things.

Tazeen says:
Hahaha, There wont be any exchange of bodily fluids, and zero chance of contracting STDs and Aids. I think people will be a lot more tolerant about cheating if it is all telepathic and long distance. What say?

Maneesha says:
Yeah, it would a much healthier environment. UNAIDS would be redundant.

Tazeen says:
Imagine. Cheating would just be a lot less thrilling hence the charm would be greatly diminished.

.

Clip to Evernote

34 Comments

  • lol… good un… i like tazeeens law 😀

  • Watch Russell Peter’s everyone’s mixing video on youtube. He sorta beat Tazeen to it.

  • Come on Anita,

    Chadha and I are a lot more entertaining. The joke about ‘hinjews’ is as old as I am and I am ancient.
    In any case, funny girls are way cuter than funny fat men who wear joggers with dress pants.

  • Interesting and funny. I like Tazeen’s law. 🙂

  • I’m all about Tazeen’s law…

  • What does yaar mean, yeah? I come across that sometimes when I’m reading Indian authors. 🙂

    I like Tazeen’s law. Should I make my husband convert so we’ll be in keeping with it?

  • haha thanks for coming to my page from across the border.. i spent some time in your page and i must say that you have some very good open minded stuff.. keep rocking… and keep coming..

    shall i blogroll you?

  • Black kitty,

    yaar means friend or buddy.

    Chriz,

    Oh please do so, you don’t need my permission for that.

  • Ok, so I had to look up a billion words and what they mean because I was really curious, but now I know, and it’s cool.

    PS, I like the new commandment.

  • Amazingly awesome!!! Yayyy for Scottie and Capt Kirk – and of course since we are all Miss World contestants …. for inter-stellar peace

    *bats eyelashes coyly*

  • interesting post…. 🙂

  • This actually makes a lot of sense.. children who are exposed to myriad cultures right from the beginning will obviously steer clear of bigotry..

    I hereby second Tazeen’s Law

  • Good one!

  • woo i like tazeen’s law too!
    but then i would not be able to participate in politically incorrect practices like making fun of ‘punjus’ or ‘madrasis’. Now that gives me plenty joy 😛

  • hahaha..
    Cant comment cuz havent tasted wt its like if it werent Tazeen’s law… so first i gotta see wts it then I am gonna follow Taz’ Law

  • Nice law, Tazeen. And I loved the convo. 🙂 wah wah.

  • I just might follow this law 😉

  • gosh that was hilarious…

  • Cheryl,

    my bad. I should have considered the non desi people and translated the convo a little more. I just assumed that everyone would know about Nikah, haq meher and of course yaar.

    Khadija,

    I am so looking forward to it 🙂

  • hehehe, great conversation 😀
    i like maneesha’s futuristic approach :p

  • lol… great conversation!
    mandira

  • am cracking up with laughter. This people to people contact for sure!

  • Lovely!
    😛

  • Thanks for stopping by my blog and giving me the heads up on yours – I like it very much! Keep on writing, keep on making me laugh. Bosnia and Pakistan are different, but not so much!

  • One of the most erratic conservations, ever! 😉 Haha! And on another note, saying ‘qabul hai’ once or even nodding once is enough. I don’t know why our mullahs insist on three time’s the charm! To me, it is actually like telling each, “SOch lo!”

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  • With due respect wow gold and humility I write you this proposal which I believe would be of great interest to you. I am Mr.Ateeq Rahman Khan, currently Head of Corporate wow gold affairs with a reputable bank here.

  • I, for, one find the nikaah ceremony to be extremely boring. Of course, the nikaah is but a small insignificant part of the whole shaadi routine. The only thing people actually remember is whether the Biryani was good or the Chaanp tender enough.

    By the way, do any of the Pakis here have a curd-based drink called zirwani served along with their shaadi ka biryani?

    …and the girl has to respond with “qabool hai, qabool hai, qabool hai

    Doesn’t the girl just nod? I might be wrong, though. It’s been a long time since I saw the girl’s side of the thing—ever since I hit puberty I’ve had to stay on the men’s side of the whole shaadi affair.

  • Saadia,

    I totally agree, asking thrice is actually giving both the parties a last chance to flee.

    Hades,

    Nikah is indeed the most boring part of the shadi. I have always wondered if people will miss it if they are provided with good food and entertainment.
    If by zirwani you mean zeeray wala raita, yes we do have that, at least in Karachi we do.

    PS: I would really appreciate if you avoid the term Paki in future.

  • PS: I would really appreciate if you avoid the term Paki in future.

    Sure thing, man.

    I, of course, meant no offense with the term and used it purely as a geographical one. Me using it as a racial thing would be sorta like spitting at the sky since I am, in all probability, browner than most Pakistanis.

    But no matter—as a wise man once said, hum kale hai tho kya hua, dilwale hai.

  • Hades,

    Thanks, I appreciate it.
    And don’t worry about being more brown, eventually we shall all become beige.

  • Thanks yaar, but I can’t believe you called me Black Kitty. That’s sooo racist! I’m off to find a spotted Zoroastrian cat to marry.

  • hahaha BEIGE FTW! lol, funny stuff! 🙂

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