Dec 21, 2008 - Shahrukh Khan    45 Comments

Keeping ’em luscious!!

Those who know me know the ‘lack’ of affection I have for the Shahrukh Khan. I think he should come out of the closet as soon as possible and live happily ever after with Karan Johar, but such fairytale like stuff only happens in fairytales or … in Bollywood musicals. In real life, men have to play at being faithful husbands, but I digress.

Shahrukh Khan is mentioned because two of my North America dwelling friends just saw his latest film. Preeti, the temporary New Yorker, thinks the writer/director should be sued and SRK should be asked to sit at home until he promises to take on age appropriate roles with modicum of intelligence and maturity (I know, Preeti is extremely demanding and asks for the earth, moon, stars and some other planets on the side). Erum, the permanent Toronto dweller, got quite confused in his moustachioed and non moustachioed personas and lack of logic in pursuing the fake character. She was also miffed that the film assumed that women in general, and the one you are married to in particular, are so stupid that they would fall for anything and won’t use their brains – not even when the hubby started posing and dressing as a teenaged colour blind wanna be dancer who is quite obviously confused about his ‘sexual identity’. OK, I admit. Erum did not use that particular term but the homoerotic references SRK has recently made about Amir Khan’s abs made me add that one. I have not seen the film – nor do I intend to – but I just had to add that bit.

The reason I went on this spiel about SRK is that I just had to spread a special news about him. Don’t get me wrong, I have not taken on as his PR person, but I have just learned from reliable sources (through someone who has shot SRK on ad campaigns) that he wears butt pads to keep them … err luscious.

Bollywood is a lot more gender neutral than I thought.

PS: PS: There was never any intention to insult LGBTQ people in this post,but if I come across that way, I apologize. I have nothing against a person’s sexuality; rather my frustration was with someone who can create an impact by coming out, not only in India but across the globe with desi community.

Clip to Evernote

45 Comments

  • srk is proof that a majority of cinema devotees are low on wits. he might make it look good, but he is still dumb as a bucket of bricks.

    that tush does look too perfect to be true. thanks for the exposé tazeen.

  • SRK should either die or retire! The guy cannot act versatile to save his life and the fact that he makes a lot of intelligent, educated young women swoon for god knows what reason is enough to make me lose faith in my kind. I mean come on, the guy looks like he gets himself botoxed every six hours. And he’s not even good looking!

    Damn! Who knew bashing SRK would feel so good…so right!

  • Lets count the number of people who scrolled up to check the pic again after reading the last couple of lines!!
    ~S

  • he also got a place onto Newsweek’s 2008 list of 50 most powerful people along with Kiyani and OBL

  • he’s so nauseating, its like not even funny. i have no idea why women generally like him. :S i seriously don’t get the fascination people have with him. he’s just an annoying old gay bhudda.
    he should die.
    asap.

    ps. butt pads for shahrukh khan, VOT is the world coming to? *smirk*

  • i thought i was the only one who feels srk needs to retire! trust me, i cant say a single word against srk in singapore! its been years since i felt this way and i cant even express my disgust. what does the man has that i dont? oh yah, butt pads

  • a King stays a King if he steps down and lets someone take over.. with SRK.. i dunt this he is that nauseating and irritating and Pathetic as a KING.. i am yet loking forward to RNBDJ and one thing is for sure, i will giggle and i will fal in love all over again… and no i wudnt say it is fascination cuz that was 10 years ago.. now it is more of an escape..

  • Haha!

    A piece of advice: you and your friends MUST stay away from all Bollywood masala films at all times!

    On a more serious note, yes, Shahrukh Khan is hilariously over-rated. There isn’t much substance in his acting – so easy to mimic, for one!

    And butt pads? I’m not surprised!

  • Actually, I would not want him to either die or retire. He should continue to do what he has been doing. For one, it is doing wonders for his bank balance and the guy does have a huge fan following, they will make him some kinda pseudo god or something if he dies young (relatively of course).Secondly, who will I bitch about if there is no SRK dancing in a huge hall with half a million back up dancers wearing kamkhuwab sherwani and pure silk dupatta serenading a chiffon clad heroine young enough to be his niece (or daughter if he married and procreated in his early twenties.

  • and people, its not just the butt pad, he has a chin implant as well. Why do you think a fat chinless man started sporting a chin and got all fat sucked out of his face about five years ago. Wonders of cosmetic surgery of course.

  • I think there is no harm if he is doing all this. Afterall its his looks, butts, chin etc etc, that sells…..if actor wont look good, who will come to see him/her after all.
    Its the filmy world and things have to be perfectly filmy for audience.

  • LOL

    I am not a SRK fan at all. Although, speak to anyone else I know and they’ll be drooling all over him.

    I think many people are inlove with the characters he play – which is no relfection to who he is as a person in real life.

    I’m not surprised at the butt pads…the things people will do in the name of vanity.

  • Butt pads???? Seriously….

    Hey, I just read your comment on my Persepolis post……I’m sorry I didn’t catch it earlier….
    .cbr files are too huge to send via e-mail but here’s a cool link.. you can find Maus and Persepolis here

    http://www.hoypinoy.net/download

  • Hmm… but I am an SRK fan. People want to see him doing these boyish roles. As an actor I think he is best in Chak de India which involves no wooing and romancing.

  • I completely agree with your North American friends Preeti and Erum. SRK is so full of himself, it is high time he has his head on his shoulders and stops digging at Aamir Khan. But for a few flicks like ‘Swades’, what does he have to his credit – sterotypical roles??

  • When I used to watch Bollywood movies circa late 90’s early 2000’s, I was a fan. I used to think he was a very good actor. These days I’ve dropped Hindi movies from my list altogether. So I can’t say if I still like him or not 🙂

  • Butt pad, oh my. I was saw underpants with butt padding but I never thought people actually used them.

  • OMG! Butt pads???? You gotta be kiddin’ me!!! ROFL!!!

  • It is heartening to know that 68 years after Jinnah propounded his two-nation theory in Lahore in which he specifically mentioned that Muslims and Hindus have different “litterateurs”, Pakistanis have to depend on India for their movies. So much so that they even have discussions on the buttocks of Indian movie stars on their blogs!

    Ah, irony! Where would we be without it?

  • Hara Hara Boom Boom,

    You have repeated your comments on my blog. Please come up with something original because I bet you are quoting someone here.

    Everyone watches Hollywood,does that mean everyone is culturally American? The world has changed drastically in past 20 years and we are more connected than ever, hence access to foreign films, literature and fashion is inevitable, it is all the more inevitable when it is in the same language.

  • well i wouldnt wish that he should come out of the closet… its ok even if he does so…. doesnt matter at all as long as he is acting best and looking good…
    doesnt even matter even if he wears butt pads or whatever…but that was really revealing fact though….lolz

  • saw the movie in fast forward mode… and then just stopped midway coz it just wasn’t worth it. He can act if he wants to but me thinks he has it confused with hamming. As for his butt, well, i guess its hard living upto an image!!! 🙂

  • Yeah as for his chin, his face did look old and super weird in OSO. He attributed it to working out and losing weight. Whereas AAmir looks much younger in Ghajini.

  • @ hara hara bom bom- I watched a brilliant movie by a pakistani film maker called Khuda Ke liye.

    P.s. the world has changed. Move along with it!

  • Now that’s a scoop.

  • Tazeen,

    Ah! So you read that comment of mine. Well, since you didn’t reply…

    Everyone watches Hollywood,does that mean everyone is culturally American? The world has changed drastically in past 20 years and we are more connected than ever, hence access to foreign films, literature and fashion is inevitable, it is all the more inevitable when it is in the same language.

    I was waiting for Hollywood to come into the picture. 🙂

    Well, in a nutshell, if you watch Hollywood movies and in fact do the million other things that America’s soft power exports into our countries then somewhere deep down you want to be American, even though you are not. But of course this point is debatable and is my view. Here is another line of argument:

    A few reasons why Hollywood is not comparable with Bollywood:

    1)If a State was formed on the very basis that they were not American in any sense, including culturally, and then after that they sat and watched Hollywood films en masse then I would call it hypocrisy.

    2)Pakistan allows Hollywood films to release there legally. Most Bollywood films aren’t allowed in Pakistan legally (something Indian reciprocates but is insignificant due to the sorry state of the film industry in Pakistan). This cuts across civilian and military governments, btw. After that if Pakistanis sit and watch Bollywood films en masse illegally then I would call it hypocrisy.

    Secondly, Pakistanis watching Bollywood films is nothing which has happened in the past “20 years”. Maybe you’re comfortable with that time frame due to your age, but ask, maybe, your parents.

    Pakistanis watching Hindi films is nothing to do with the world being “more connected than ever”. Pakistanis watching Hindi films is about a divisive ideology being proved wrong, again and again. Unfortunately, most Pakistanis still put the person who propounded that ideology on a pedestal. Which is sad.

    Gypsy Girl,

    I watched a brilliant movie by a pakistani film maker called Khuda Ke liye.

    I would disagree with you that it was a “brilliant movie” but no doubt it was nice. I don’t understand why this is being taken as an example, though.

    Really, if you need examples of Pakistani art beating Indian art then look no further than Paki TV shows of the 80s and early 90s. Much better than the Indian drivel churned out today, lapped up by Indians and Pakistanis alike.

    P.s. the world has changed. Move along with it!

    See the last two paras of my reply to Tazeen. Again, maybe it’s your age, but Pakistanis watching Bollywood films is something that is as old as the two countries are. Nothing has changed.

  • Interesting add-on:

    …, it is all the more inevitable when it is in the same language.

    My my, Urdu and Hindi the same language? That’s a brave assertion, I must say.

    Here’s a sentence from a government of Pakistan Website:

    “Currently, Urdu vocabulary contains approximately 70% of Persian words and the rest are a mixture of Arabic and Turkish words”

    http://202.83.164.26/wps/portal/Mocul/!ut/p/c0/04_SB8K8xLLM9MSSzPy8xBz9CP0os3h_Nx9_SzcPIwP_IB8DA6MQN6MgP39LQ09_U_2CbEdFAGG3mnQ!/?WCM_PORTLET=PC_7_OFLO9FH20ORL002TF2RNO91IV4_WCM&WCM_GLOBAL_CONTEXT=/wps/wcm/connect/MoculCL/scultureofpakistan/salanguageandlitrature/urdu-the+national+language+of+pakistan

    Seems quite surprising that a language which is 70% Persian and the rest is Arabic and Turkish is called the same as Hindi, a language which takes a large part of its vocabulary from Sanskrit (with a lot of Persian influence too, I might add).

    Showing that Hindus and Muslims speak the same language is a blow to the principles on which Pakistan was founded, Tazeen. Maybe you didn’t realise that when typing this. 🙂

  • @ hara Hara Boom boom
    First of all anyone with a little sense would realize that modern Hindi and Urdu are about as different from each other as cheddar is from bri. Since i am speaking cheeses, what is more cheesy than a film industry which prides itself on being so different even its moniker is a ripoff of Hollywood.

    Frankly as far as I am concerned SRK lovers or anyone else can laugh at Pakistani movies all they want, all i know is that with the resources available to people over here the first serious couple of efforts made by people at good cinema result in botul gali, khuda ke liye and ramchand while the billions of dollars pumped into the “original film industry” next door result in about 230 B grade movies a year and a couple of good ones, those too only starring Muslim actors because the “investors in Dubai” are not interested in starring Hindus in leading roles… wah wah kia equality hay kia industry hay.

    Whether SRK wears butt pads or Aamir dresses in angarkhas the result is the same, in a nation full of millions of Hindus only 5 Muslim (apologetically so) actors are the biggest draw.

    We separated on religion hara not language and we still believe the choice was a damn good one.

    Pakistan zindabad.

  • Faisal,

    First of all anyone with a little sense would realize that modern Hindi and Urdu are about as different from each other as cheddar is from bri.

    Tell that to Tazeen, my man. Anyways, it’s nice to know that all Pakistanis know Hindi, a language as different from Ursu“as cheddar is from bri” and can therefore watch Hindi films.

    Since i am speaking cheeses, what is more cheesy than a film industry which prides itself on being so different even its moniker is a ripoff of Hollywood.

    Quite. But you do realise that making fun of Bollywood not only degrades Indians but also degrades Pakistanis?

    Remember, as a percentage more Pakistanis watch Bollywood than Indians, albeit illegally! 😀

    Frankly as far as I am concerned SRK lovers or anyone else can laugh at Pakistani movies all they want, all i know is that with the resources available to people over here the first serious couple of efforts made by people at good cinema result in botul gali, khuda ke liye and ramchand while the billions of dollars pumped into the “original film industry” next door result in about 230 B grade movies a year and a couple of good ones,…

    Quality is quite subjective, mind you and it’s difficult having a sane discussion on it. To a tea stall owner in Peshawar, Mithun might be the next to God while some uppity type in Delhi might not look beyond Neseeruddin Shah. Too subjective, really.

    …those too only starring Muslim actors because the “investors in Dubai” are not interested in starring Hindus in leading roles… wah wah kia equality hay kia industry hay.

    Whether SRK wears butt pads or Aamir dresses in angarkhas the result is the same, in a nation full of millions of Hindus only 5 Muslim (apologetically so) actors are the biggest draw.

    A common Pakistani sentiment, I believe. Pride in the Khans and other “Muslim” actors. Well, speaking as an Indian, I believe this is the most brilliant thing about India—that crores of Hindus will queue up on a Friday to watch the latest release by a Khan.

    I understand that this might be difficult for you to understand given that Pakistan has had a history of treating its minorities quite brutally but I feel terribly sorry for you that you somehow see it as a negative. Maybe it is a reflection of the foundations of our country—your views and mine. A Muslim doing well in India raises hackles in Pakistan. Shahrukh Khan cannot be successful on his own merit. He has to have shady backers in Dubai. Sigh.

    Btw, here’s a small list of number one actors in Bollywood ovr the years:

    Dilip Kumar (Yusuf Khan)

    Rajesh Khanna

    Amitabh Bachcan

    Shahrukh Khan

    Likely successor-> Hrithik Roshan

    Makes you wonder at the wonder that is India, does it not?

    We separated on religion hara not language and we still believe the choice was a damn good one.

    Yes and that separating on religion has damned Pakistan to a life of utter helplessness. A nation that cannot even outlaw something as barbaric as polygamy.

    About it being a good choice, I can only smile wryly at that, seeing the current state of your unfortunate country.

  • I am allergic to SRK! Can’t stand him! As for the padding-biz, SRK’s not the only one in the industry to seek outside-help!;))))))))))Aamir Khan wears shoes that have a 3 inch built-in heel!;))))

  • SRK is a person who started with a small TV serial and no support of any so called GodFathers.he has achieved everything what he has today because of his hardwork and determination.hats off to him.Learn to respect a person’s unparallel determination.its easy to criticize.Very easy….

  • ^^^Hard work and luck: his father migrated from Peshawar to Delhi before Partition.

    If that hadn’t happened, SRK would most probably have been blowing up NATO lines and dodging missiles from US drones rather than being discussed on Pakistani blogs! 😛

  • Hara Hara Boom boom,

    This would be my last response to you. The language spoken in ‘Hindi’ films is actually URDU. Urdu is a language that has words from all the language spoken in 16th and 17th century, hence it has everything from Arabic, Persian, Sanskrit, Turkish and various vernacular languages. If you check the origin of most words used in hindi cinema these days, their roots would be not be in Sanskrit but in either Persian or Arabic, i just switched on an Indian Tv channel and there is a song on, it has words such as Guzarish, haal sang, all of then have either Arabic or Persian roots.
    Another example would the word shareer in hindi which is not used in bollywood, instead film makers use the words jism (arabic roots). Urdu owes a lot of Bollywood, what they speak in the films is not Hindi, its Urdu, that’s why every wanna be star goes and take Urdu diction classes before they start acting.

    PS: If Pakistan is such a blot on the face of earth, why do you come and read a Pakistani girl’s blog. I dont remember sending you an invite to read my blog. Anyone who can make a post about SRK’s butt pads into a question about a state which has existed for past 61 years has got be seriously demented.

  • Never liked him and most of the other bollywood movie stars.
    Aamir Khan is different (usually). A better actor than SRK.

  • Lol! I watched this movie! My first in one year! And my first ever Bollywood movie in a theater! It was a stupid movie, bur parts of it were entertaining.

  • Tazeen,

    Another example would the word shareer in hindi which is not used in bollywood, instead film makers use the words jism (arabic roots). Urdu owes a lot of Bollywood, what they speak in the films is not Hindi, its Urdu, that’s why every wanna be star goes and take Urdu diction classes before they start acting.

    Sorry if I sound a bit supercilious, but do read up on Loan Words here:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loanword

    As I said, NOBODY in India speaks a language which is 70% Persian and 30% Turkish and Arabic.

    PS: If Pakistan is such a blot on the face of earth, why do you come and read a Pakistani girl’s blog.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schadenfreude

    Anyone who can make a post about SRK’s butt pads into a question about a state which has existed for past 61 years has got be seriously demented.

    Maybe. It just gets my goat when you Pakistanis try and act all Indian.

    And Pakistan has existed for 61 years? Tchh tchh. Surely you mean 37 years.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bangladesh_Liberation_War

    Of course, 37 years is not bad for an artificial nation and you guys should feel proud. Even if you can’t even protect your citizens from getting bombed by the American Army in collaboration with your own on your Western border.

    This would be my last response to you

    Obviously! And you’re not the first! 😛

  • LOL!!!

    My original intention was to write this comment:

    “There are things called Butt Pads and men actually use them, what has the world come to”

    But thank you all those who showed me that anything and everything can be turned into Indo/Pak issue, even something as ridiculous as SRK wearing Buttpads!!! 🙂

  • My, I didn’t know so many people had so much against my hero.
    I don’t mind you guys bashing his acting skills, but isn’t it presumptuous to say he should leave his wife. He is a father, not just a husband. And I think his kids have more of a right on him than his wife, or us.
    Anyway, your blog is interesting. I came here through Banno’s, always wondered how to find a Pakistani blogger.

  • @Hara Hara Bom Bom:

    Is your really name “Hara Huwa Damned Doomed”?

    Please don’t mind the fact that people regularly ignore you.

    They do it after loosing all faith in your intellectual capacity to find, digest and understand facts in an un-biased undistorted fashion.

    No one who uses Wikipedia for making a reliable, authentic, point is a person well enough to be communicated with..

    I guess your sheer hatred of Pakistan has been tolerated enough. So why don’t you turn your guns to someone else?

    Here is a target you would like. Dalits of your own country (although the muslims of Gujrat too might be awaiting you).

    That would be a safer target for a coward like you mate.

  • haha..way to go King Khan..bleh(N)

  • I have no clue what the movie is about, but I loved your frivolous ‘n caustic write up on it, especially the bit about the butt pads!

  • thanks id

  • The post was interesting, but the comments more so..

  • Hara hara…: I don’t even know why you have to respond to inane arguments and complicate an already complicated situation. I would have thought that in this day and age of cultural liberalism..ppl would be open to culture outside of theirs…but I see that here also, the supposed future of our generation are still talking n having views that begin with the ‘us n them’ mentality.

    Pak is better than India..accept it n let ’em be happy. Pak is the best country in the world and yes Indian’s borrow from Urdu which is the language from Pakistan. Leave it at that…poor guys they are caught in a war on all fronts…and all because they believe that religion and all things religion are the salvation of all ills. Fuck a group of ppl (Pakistanis and Indians – and not Muslims n Hindus) who could have co-existed beautifully are now behaving like animals. Well at least In india..even with the divisive influence caused by insane ppl who divide ppl in the name of religion we at least have ppl from all cross sections n all religions in the highest of places…
    So long…blindness!!!!
    Salil (I am an Indian by the way).

  • Have yu seen the movie Sunset Boulevard? I believe SRK is a more subdued and controled version of the protaonist, Norma Desmond, portrayed by Gloria Swanson.

    I think being an Indian I hate him atleast twice as much as you. He is a disease pervading Indian society by way of TV News, cinema, and the like.
    In train compartments, I bugger off if there is a SRK fan of a girl in the same compartment.

Got anything to say? Go ahead and leave a comment!

Protected by WP Anti Spam

``