April 13 is my mother’s birthday.
What I am trying to say is had she been alive, it would have been her birthday. I don’t recall wishing her much when she was alive (my only excuse is that I was a self absorbed kid when she passed away), but I never missed her birthdays since she’s been gone; I guess we only realize how important a person is after s/he is gone. I now think about all things I want to say to Ammi but she is no more.
Mothers are precious and most people love their moms a lot, but at times we take their presence, their commitment, their affection and their kindness for granted. Most of the time, we feel that a mother would always stand like pillar of strength no matter what she is up against. We tell them about our problems, frustrations and miseries without thinking – even for a single minute – that they could be facing problems of their own.
It’s been a very long time since my mother passed away, but I still miss her. I miss her when I come home, I miss her when I want to share a gossip and she is not there. I miss her when I make decisions and want a sounding board. I terribly missed her when I wanted to choose a college major and wanted to seek her advice because no one knew me as well as she did. I missed her when I had a fight with one of my teachers and wanted unconditional understanding only a mother is capable of. I missed her the day I graduated and wanted to share the joy with someone who would be just as ecstatic with my achievement as I was. I missed her the day I got my first salary because I know she would have been so so proud of me. I badly wanted to take her out, buy her things and indulge her little wishes but she was not around. I miss her every time I want to share my joys and frustrations, but she is no more.
I miss her smile, her compassion and her understanding. I am lucky that I had some time with her but I now regret that I had always taken that time with her for granted. I thought Ammi would ALWAYS be around. I regret that I had the opportunity but never really thanked her.
I want to thank my mother for being a great mom, so here it is. Thank you Ammi for your empathy and compassion, for your guidance, for the values that you instilled in me, for your absolute and unreserved love and for being there when I needed you most. Thank you for enriching my life. Thank you mom, for everything.