Mar 3, 2008 - rant    6 Comments

I rant, therefore I am …

For all you five people who read my blog, I need to rant, badly, so please bear with me.

Someone I went to college with read some posts at my blog and wrote back to me saying that I should write fiction. Honestly, for a minute, I was taken aback (I thought she was praising me and that did take me by surprise) and started fantasizing about being called the Pakistani version of Dave Barry (I know, I know, I am much better looking than good ol’ Dave – a lot less wrinkles fewer grey hair) but then came the dampener. She said that what I write is chick-lit and then went on to define chick-lit and what is considered chick-lit in da USA, as if we, in the backwaters of Pakistan do not know what it is. Ufff I wanted to scream that I know what chick-lit is, we sort of invented it. What they in USA call chick-lit is called zenana adab here; we have produced many chick-lit giants such as Zaitoon Bano, A.R. Khatoon and more recently, Fatima Surraiya Bajiya and Haseena Moin. We even had male chick-lit writers like Deputy Nazeer Ahmed for his akbari asghari saga definitely falls under chick-lit. Khawateen Digest is probably the most popular example of chick-lit in Pakistan and it has been doing roaring business since god knows when. Heck, all our mothers and grand mothers used to read them and have been doing that way before terms like chick-lit or chick-flicks were coined.

Ek tau I generally hate patronizing people, but more so when they are your age but think they know better because they happen to live in USA. As if a blue passport and living in da USA can have positive impact on one’s mental faculties. If that had been the case, we would not have had to endure the last 7 years seeing Bush fumble and mumble incomprehensively a million and one times because the smart people living in da USA would have elected a better person.

Funny thing is, what I write cannot be classified under chick-lit. For one, my wit is too dry for chick-lit, secondly, I am way too irreverent to ever write about panting chests and heaving bosoms and last but not the least is that chick-lit is always about a man, where the chick protagonist fantasize about one perfect specimen of manhood and would do anything to get him. Being the narcissist that I am, I usually write about myself. It is always about what I do, what I think and most importantly; what and who I hate. I love myself and chances are that I will stay in love with myself for a very long time. Such self love would make the requisite pinning (a must for chick-lit) almost impossible to flourish and I will continue to rant as gloriously as I do now.

I rant, therefore I am.

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6 Comments

  • LOL,

    If ranting is your reason for existence, i live to bitch. Nothing is more stimulating than that …

    By the way, I am not that Kashmala, the one who hangs out with chuhdries of Gujrat and i am seriously considering a change of name.

  • completely agree… self love just devoids u of any possible chick lit kind of charateristics…

    but heck, maybe u should start writing on chuck flicks (is that the right term?)

    i recommend a young investment banker who is dedicated to a power hungry brand manager who only wants him for her materialistic (read lustful) desires…

    but then she would be termed as a slut…..

    hmm….

    i’l still read it anyways.. oooh.. make me the leading lady. i can sell u my stories for 70% of all profits… hell yeah… 70%, hey.. this materialistic attitude isnt easy i have to work for it.

  • damn it kashmala… u just ruined a good daytime fantasy.

    takes off his sunglasses

  • It’s a blasphemy not to mention the top female author, Razia Butt, who has written many trashy novels – title of novel mostly based on a female name – to cater to the needs of many fertile and hyper minds.

    Tazeen,

    May I suggest that if you do choose to pursue writing chick-lit in urdu in future, then please do shed more light on sex scenes – uncensored and uncut. 😉 I’m sick of reading “aur baagho mai phool muskara deeye”.

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  • Not so sure about mental health but I guess cleaning your bathroom as per need bases might stimulate once superior physical health while living in da USA…..

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