Feb 1, 2008 - romance, Society, USA, women    4 Comments

The Fourth Wave of Feminism?????

If Reuters is to be believed (and they should be believed, they are the oldest news agency), rich older women sitting on gold mines are being paired up with hot young men at a New York matchmaking event next week, Feb 7th to be precise. We have seen rich old and middle-aged men getting hooked up with pretty young things (Donald Trump and Micheal Douglas to name a few), but a New York entrepreneur, Jeremy Abelson, has come up with a speed dating set up where he will be bringing together 20 “sugar mamas” and 20 “boy toys”. Not every run of the mill old woman can be part of it, the “sugar mamas” must be at least 36 and make a minimum $500,000 a year—though $4 million in assets also meets requirements. According to the news, a good 5,000 men applied to become the boy toys, but only twenty had to be selected. The prospective boy toys — who had to be under 35 — were screened by Janice Spindel, billed as New York’s most exclusive matchmaker.

Abelson, 27, calls it “Natural Selection Speed Date II: Sugar Mamas & Boy Toys.” He came up with the idea after drawing criticism from feminists for organizing an event last year that paired wealthy older men with young women. Pocket Change, the company that is promoting this event, is calling it the fourth wave of feminism. One older woman said that she find younger guys more perceptive towards their dates, while older guys will be looking over your shoulder at a younger woman. Honestly, if it requires this much planning and work, it cannot be natural selection, can it be?

For someone like me, raised in Pakistan where a woman’s shelf life is 23 years (you are considered over the hill if you are at least not engaged by 25), this idea sounds, well, alien. Firstly, I think men never really grow up (the addiction to gadgets and video games is but a proof – no matter how old they are, they just want to play) so a man much younger would be more like a kid, what say?

Secondly, the romantic in me cringe at the idea of speed dating in general and this kind of speed dating where they actually go through your bank account to check your eligibility, in particular. What happened to the old fashioned romantic love? Are demands of modern life making the traditional starry eyed love a thing of past?

Another anthropological trend that emerges from this news is that there were 5000 applicants who wanted to be boy toys – that is – they thought a rich older woman would be their meal ticket for life. I am so glad that men are showing their true colors at last. They have been doing it for centuries; choosing to marry for prestige, right family and huge sums of dowry but somehow all of that was deemed socially acceptable, no matter how avaricious it was. Now, men have come out as plain ol’ “Gold Digger” who offer themselves in exchange of a comfy lifestyle, its about time the word gold digger become genderless.

Last but not the least, do cougars out on a prowl represents the fourth wave of feminism? I don’t know, what do you have to say to that?

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  • “the addiction to gadgets and video games is but a proof – no matter how old they are, they just want to play”

    Hey!! not fair! boys and their toys does not make not men – to play – or to be enthusiastic about things – not literally – but figuratively can be a healthy thing – say in the interest of spending quality time apart having a life of one’s own may end up strengthening a relationship 😉 Of course, there are other ways – but playing with toys – men toys – not guns or girls on the side – or mind games, if done in moderation is cool…


  • Women also play with toys 😛

  • I dont know, i firmly believe the adage, ‘boys will be boys’

  • Life does not end at 25 or 40 for any gender….people have finally realised that a women too can indulge in a relationship with any man-young or old, without tying the knot for life…its high time cougars and boy toys be given ‘social acceptance’. 🙂

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